A recent article from Men’s Health gives guys five sure-fire signs a woman is into him. Basically, if you’re a lady and so much as breathe the same air as a dude, you probably want to inhale him faster than a piece of chocolate mousse cake. But let’s dissect each sign one by one, shall we? Test 1: The Time Probe
“Forget your silly pickup line. Ask her for the time instead. If she answers with anything other than the time, she’s interested. The only exception is ‘I don’t know’ — but only if she’s not wearing a watch.”
Sometimes when a guy asks for the time, I’ll say something like, “Hold on, let me check my cell phone,” and I’ll start digging in my purse, and then guy will be all, “It’s OK, it’s not a big deal,” and I’ll say, “It’s not a problem, I was actually wondering what time it was, too,” and then I’ll find my phone, and I’ll read out the time, and then he’ll smile and say, “Thanks,” and I’ll smile back and say, “You’re welcome.” Only I didn’t realize this meant I wanted to jump his bones, so I guess I’ll just say “I don’t know” from now on.
Test 2: The Eye-Contact Probe
“While you’re talking with her, sustain eye contact for a fraction of a second longer than what feels natural. If she holds your eye, she’s interested. If she looks away, she’s not.”
But what if she’s shy? Maybe you’re making her nervous! Maybe all that sustained eye contact is freaking her out! Perhaps it’s best not to do anything longer than what feels natural — at least until you buy her dinner.
Test 3: The Wink Probe
“If she makes a joke or someone else does something dumb, give her a wink and share the moment. If she relaxes or laughs, she’s interested.”
Sometimes I laugh or chuckle because I’m uncomfortable. Or because something was actually funny. Or because I can’t think of a better response to some guy winking at me like I’m eight-years-old when I crack a joke.
Test 4: The Body-Check Probe
“Make eye contact, then quickly (in less than a second) pass your eyes down and up her body, then look back into her eyes. If she smiles when your eyes meet again, she’s interested.”
This one might be true, because I don’t know why any woman would smile when some random guy totally does a full-body mental undressing of her if she’s not interested. But wouldn’t asking for her number be a whole lot less skeevy?
Test 5: The Compliment Probe
“Pay her the kind of compliment a potential lover would make — it should be something personal but not overtly sexual. Also avoid the type of thing a friend might say; for instance, opt for ‘You have really great style’ rather than ‘You have a really nice briefcase.’ If she smiles or thanks you warmly, she’s interested. If she Maces you, she’s not.”
Got that, ladies? If a guy pays you a compliment, and you aren’t interested in him sexually, you better have that Mace ready! Being polite when you don’t want to jump a guy’s bones sends all kinds of mixed messages, and guys can’t be responsible for misinterpreting your intention every time you say, “Thank you.”