Nancy Pelosi’s Plastic Surgery Debacle

Sandra McElwaine at The Daily Beast wants to know, “Who Did Nancy Pelosi’s New Face?” The Speaker of the House (who just turned 69) has been sporting a, uh, much tighter looking mug, causing many to strongly suspect she’s had a heavy dose of plastic surgery. The slideshow of images does make for a compelling argument. But should we care? Should this even be a topic of conversation when there’s, you know, an economic crisis and other more serious issues to discuss? Well, maybe not, but then again, should we be wasting precious economic crisis discussion time talking about men in Hello Kitty boxers, “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” or the war between Julia Allison and Mary Rambin? Those things are just dying for attention and it’s our duty to give it to them! Unfortunately, when you’re the Speaker of the House and your face suddenly looks like it got trapped in a wind tunnel, you kind of can’t blame people for wanting to gossip about it. All that being said, the article can’t seem to decide if Pelosi’s alleged “new face” needs more work or if it’s a plastic disaster. McElwaine uses the analysis of a cosmetic surgeon — Barry J. Cohen, who was willing to go on the record saying he thought Pelosi had work done — to illustrate her confusion. Cohen definitely thinks Pelosi has had Botox and some neck work, but suggests she needs more.

“Her nasolabial folds could benefit from a filler, to soften her creases, and she would likely benefit from a peel or laser abrasion… She has her share of lines and wrinkles. Likely from all the time spent at high altitudes in her (our) private jet.”

Still, he seems to find her work a little gauche, describing Pelosi as a “victim of West Coast surgery” a la Joan Rivers. Wait, does she need more plastic surgery then? Or less? Or a different “style,” like East Coast or Midwestern? Color me confused.

Eventually McElwaine realizes that the most important aspect of Pelosi’s alleged cosmetic surgery isn’t the style or what she needs next, but the timing — she congratulates Pelosi for making the wise decision to go under the knife before she actually needed it. Oh, and then she wished her a Happy Birthday. Isn’t that nice?