Determined as I am to avoid drama around both my wedding and the planning of it, I can already tell, just a few weeks into my engagement, that’s going to be much easier said than done. Already, I’ve been met with some resistance over planning an outdoor ceremony in Central Park in the middle of the summer. “Wouldn’t you rather do it inside with air conditioning?” my mom whined when I told her my idea. “We’ll be outside less than an hour,” I explained to her, “and then we’ll move to a nice air conditioned restaurant for lunch.” I’d like to keep the guest list small for a variety of reasons, but I’ve gotten an earful from family and friends who are afraid of “not making the cut.” And having the ceremony in New York, where my boyfriend was born and raised and we both live, will no doubt create a mobility challenge for some members of my family who have trouble getting around (my sister, for example, recently broke both ankles and will probably still be using a walker at the wedding). Plus, as I’ve been reminded more than once: New York is expensive. “Then don’t come!” I’d love to reply.
Anyway, lately I’ve been reading various wedding “horror stories” about really rude guests, totally inappropriate things people say, and bridezillas who completely lose their s**t over the smallest thing just to sort of give myself a little perspective. Also, they’re pretty funny and certainly more entertaining than researching rental chairs. After the jump are some of my favorite wedding-related horror stories, pulled from an MSN article, and the message boards at Indie Bride and Yahoo. There might even be a story from your truly, but you’ll just have to guess which one! 1. “I was at a wedding where the bride was a larger girl and one of the guests requested the ‘Baby Got Back’ song as a joke. The worst part is that the DJ said ‘This goes out to the bride as a special request.’”
2. “My aunt was the bartender at my sister’s wedding and got my 14-year-old brother drunk. He started stripping on the dance floor and telling my brother-in-law’s family members how he really felt about them. It was a nightmare!”
3. “I was a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding, and I was one of NINE bridesmaids. The bride selected our dresses without even consulting us, and they were HIDEOUS! Big dark purple taffeta, poofy and pinched on the sides and a big bow below my left hip, with 3 layers of tulle underneath… and this wedding was in JUNE!!! All of our dresses are destroyed because we were sweating so badly…deoderant and baby powder everywhere!”
4. “Shortly after I got engaged and well before I even chose a venue for the reception or finalized the guest list, I got a call from some family members I hadn’t spoken to in a couple of years informing me that they just booked their flights and made hotel reservations. Then they informed me that my cousin, whom I cannot stand and would NEVER invite to my wedding, ‘won’t be able to make it and sends her regrets.’”
5. “The boy and I are having brunch with a girl I go to school with and her husband and she asks to see my engagement ring. She smiles and says, ‘Oh, it’s…nice. I guess when B. is a lawyer you can add on to it, right?’”
Do you have any funny one-liners or wedding horror stories you want to share?