Top Ten Signs Your Significant Other Is Obsessed With Twitter

The latest installment in the saga that is poor Jennifer Aniston’s love life is the news that she dumped sappy John Mayer because of his Twitter obsession. Apparently, John had been blowing off Jen for a while, claiming he was just too busy working to hang with her. When Aniston found out he wasn’t too busy to update Twitter every few minutes around the clock, she was livid. How to make sure you don’t suffer a similar fate? Pay attention to these top ten signs your significant other is becoming obsessed with Twitter, after the jump. 1. Your cat knocks over a burning candle onto the floor, and instead of helping put out the flame, your boyfriend says excitedly, “I have to twitter this!”

2. He starts to make actual “tweeting” sounds in his sleep.

3. All of his friends’ names begin with an @.

4. He actually looks forward to a four-hour layover at the airport so he can catch up on all the tweets he missed while flying.

5. He takes a twitpic of your butt when you bend over to steam his suit.

6. Every time he gains a follower he throws confetti, and every time he loses one he asks if you still love him.

7. When he tells you a deep, dark secret, he begs you not to “re-tweet” it to anyone.

8. He buys a new shirt to wear to this weekend’s Tweetup.

9. A really great day for him is getting a reply from MCHammer.

10. You never see him again after you take him to the Oscars as your date.

And by the way, you can follow The Frisky on Twitter too!