You Know You Want Me

Hey. You. Yeah, you. The guy at the other end of the bar. The tall, dark, handsome fellow. Holding your sunglasses. Sporting that black jacket. The white shirt. The day-old stubble. AND THE LATEX STOCKINGS WITH MATCHING THONG AND GARTERS. I was trolling the internet when I encountered this fellow. He’s really … something, isn’t he? I don’t even know what to say about him. Or what I would say to him if I met him in a bar. “I like your … pumps?” As Tim Gunn would say: “That’s a lotta look.” And, indeed, it is. Between the meggings, the male polish, and the bros, I know I’m starting to feel a little confused about 21st century gender roles. Well, at least if my stilettos disappear, I’ll know who nicked them. [Simon O.]