Ask The Astrosexologist: Should I Ditch My Husband For My Online Lover?
I will start off with the players: Me, Leo 8/11/72, born approx 8:30pm, Eugene Oregon; my husband, a Virgo, 9/5/76, born in Kitchener Ontario, and the lover, a Gemini, 5/23/77, born in Poughkeepsie NY.
My husband and I married very quickly after being friends for a long time — there had always been some chemistry and attraction, but once we were married things really went downhill. It has reached the point that I don’t want to make the effort because I resent him so much, and also the lack of response and attention from him has affected my self-esteem. We ‘took a break’ in August, this was a huge relief for me. For a variety of reasons it is not possible for us to separate completely yet, and we continue to live together. He wants to reconcile, I do not think I will ever be able to be happy in this relationship. To his credit, he is very committed to me and willing to work on the relationship, but I just don’t feel like he’s ever going to get it — get me, and that is a very lonely feeling within a relationship.
Enter the lover. My husband was a casual gamer and introduced me to a real-time online game, where I met the Gemini. He and I played casually together for about a year, then around July of this year things just kind of escalated. We have not met, were planning to in Dec. but circumstances have forced me to cancel that trip (I live in LA; he in NY). We have agreed that the feeling of connection on every level is something unique. However, given that I can no longer visit and that neither of us is currently in a position to financially sustain an ongoing long distance relationship, and all of my assorted complications, I essentially ‘broke-up’ with him. He said he did not want to lose me entirely, that he would be whatever I need him to be right now. I had thought there would be less contact after this, but everything is essentially the same in terms of contact, including sexual matters, phone sex etc. He went on a date (ouch), which he came home early from, and ended with everyone is stupid and boring when they are not you. We agree that the thought of a future without each other is horrible to contemplate, but the obstacles to be together, even to meet are huge right now. So before I go f**king nuts, any advice? – Anguished
Get a divorce and meet the Gemini in person. If this love is so strong and so important to you both, you will find a way to hook it up. Otherwise, all this talk and no action is as good as nothing. You’re a Leo, which means you love drama and romance — and this is your time to live up to that rep and make it work. You can’t sit around wondering what to do, thinking that is good enough — you need to get off you butt and make it happen, if you really mean what you say. Plus, all is good on the Internet and phone, but unless you have the physical contact and the real deal happening, don’t get too far ahead of yourself. For now, it’s obvious your marriage is over, but you really have to let it go all the way — as in moving out. Don’t give yourself any more excuses to stay in either. Take the right steps to secure a solid life that you want to live fully and be in relationships that are real. By taking one step at a time, it’ll slow you down to really assess the matters at hand and stop daydreaming about it.
In terms of timing, to best lead you to your goals, voila — it’s today! You are in that infamous relationship eclipse cycle that is always mentioned week after week in this column. Those special times are activated last Feb. and this coming August, and can take up to six months to resolve issues into your favor. Plus, you have a Virgo moon, which right now the planet of transformation is pushing you to make big changes in how your structure your relationships and also Saturn, the karma planet, is putting you under the microscopes to make an emotional life that works for you. So far, none of it is working, as you are living with someone you know you are over and trying to reach out to someone just far enough to remain untouchable. Yes, time to reassess your emotions immediately! March 6th marked the start of the Aries retrograde, which in layman terms means revising your love affairs in one way or another and for you, it affects you in your idealism house — which just says to me, this whole cycle is just made for you at this very moment and this is the time you got to start getting it together.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email [email protected] and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query! For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!