Sometimes, people say the dumbest things. And when they do, luckily, they say them all in the same place: Yahoo! Answers. Why, just this week, Emily asked:
“Why does steam come out of my vagina?”
My guess is she’s a fire crotch! Ha, get it? Anyway, we’ll let the “experts” on internet forums help her figure this conundrum out. In the meantime, we here at The Frisky found a bunch more hilarious sex questions that make Emily seem like the tip of the confused iceberg. 1. The Tangled Muff We Weave
Niki: “How can I make the hair on my vagina thicker and longer?”
Frisky Answer: Pick up some of those Jessica Simpson hair extensions.
2. OctoMom, Is That You?
Jamie: “How many children does a women have before their vagina is too loose to have good sex? This isn’t a porno question. My girlfriend has had 6 children due a previous relationship. I was just wondering if the vagina would be very loose or just slightly. Would I still get good sex?”
Frisky Answer: Whether or not the sex is good depends on your compatibility. But clearly, based on her fertility history, you should use a condom!
3. How Deep Is Your Love
Greek Warrior: “How deep in the vagina do you have to ejaculate for it to lead to pregnancy?”
Frisky Answer: Roughly 10 feet, but go as deep as you can, baby!
4. The Truth About Pussycats And Dogs
xmillerphotos: “Why does my male dog keep licking my spayed female dogs vagina?”
Frisky Answer: Because he’s trying to show you how it’s done!
5. Abstract Art
Akenaton: “Why does the artistic versions of the Virgin Mary appear like a vagina?”
Frisky Answer: It’s a Christmas miracle! Just kidding, you’re a pervert.
6. A Close Shave
Tatijana: “Why do I develop rash-like bumps on my vagina a few days after shaving it? Is there anything I can do?”
Frisky Answer: Sure, you’ve got three options. 1. Become a hippie. 2. Get full coverage bikini bottom-shorts or a skirt. 3. Use an electric razor that is less likely to cause ingrown hairs or get waxed.
7. Secret Garden
tmindz: “Medical question: What effects are there if the vagina is not used for more than 5 years?”
Frisky Answer: Well, by then a Leprechaun has deemed it a safe storage place where no one will ever look for his pot of gold!
8. Laser Man Removal
Snoop: “Can a laser pointer deflorate the hymen of a virgin vagina?”
Frisky Answer: Nope, and neither can any man who owns a laser pointer or creates a George Bush-esque word like “deflorate.”