The Real Housewives Of NYC: LuAnn Is The Most Rotten Apple Of All

Given the drama of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” and the deer-in-headlights-spectacle of “Orange County,” the NYC version is the most tepid and ho-hum of Bravo’s franchise. That’s not to say, however, that some of their cast members aren’t as heinous. While I kind of respect damaged and opinionated Bethenny, adore blabbermouth Jill, and find Alex&Simon’s (they’re one entity, you know) nerdy pretentiousness entertaining, Ramona and LuAnn drive me about as crazy as Sheree and Vicki. Ramona is one marble away from the insane asylum and LuAnn lost any chance with me when she chastised Bethenny for introducing her to a lowly commoner by her first name. Mental case versus classist bitch, who to hate more?! Last night I made up my mind — C(o)untess LuAnn de Lesseps, you are THE WORST.On last night’s episode, LuAnn, who cares so much about cancer and cancer patients, you see, put together a little charitable outing to feed the sick at a cancer center or something. Most of the socialite brigade was invited, including Ramona, who, last episode, began to create a rift between herself and the C(o)untess by criticized her decision to send her teenage daughter to boarding school. While working together on the C(o)untess’ event (because it’s allll about her, you see), Ramona was giving advice to Bethenny about dating. LuAnn disagreed, cutting poor little Ramona down to size, and Ramona fought back by making a comment about LuAnn’s husband, the C(o)unt, being twice her age. LuAnn flipped out and wouldn’t shut the hell up about it, thus doing more to ruin her event than Ramona ever could. What was insane is that, really, Ramona was sort of complimenting LuAnn, for looking so young for her age. Also, no offense, C(o)untess, but the C(o)unt does have a head full of white hair.

All of this is especially infuriating, given that LuAnn is writing a book on etiquette, a word she clearly has never looked up in the dictionary. After all, if she had, she might not have told Bethenny that she hoped the cover of the magazine she was about to appear on did airbrushing, and she wouldn’t have chit-chatted away at a cancer benefit in the last episode, and she wouldn’t have chastised Bethenny for introducing her by her first name to a commoner IN FRONT OF the commoner himself. I mean, seriously. Ever her children hate her. Actually, I don’t know that for sure, but if she was my mom, I would hate her, and I would beg Rosie to adopt me, even if it meant living in a much smaller house and not going to the Hamptons for the summer.