Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…
This week’s “Doin’ It With Dr. V” was inspired by a bunch of letters I received from straight gals who have been fantasizing about sexy times with other women. Some wonder how normal it is, some wonder if it’s just a phase, some wonder if they’re just bored. But no matter what the reason is, there’s only one thing to do. You should indulge yourself — I certainly have! So here’s my advice on lovin’ a lady based on my experience. As for the rest of you, keep those letters coming. You know I just love to read your smut too! To send me a question or suggest a topic for a future “Doin’ It With Dr. V,” email me!
HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME
Back in the day, at sleep away camp, my best friend and I were inseparable. Like true teenage besties, we told each other everything and one day, she confided in me that she thought she was gay. I was learning how to play thr Indigo Girls’ “Closer To Fine” on my guitar during electives, so it didn’t phase me. After that, we talked openly about the hot girls she was crushing on and I used to tease her about liking all the typically beautiful babes. Eventually she realized I was joking because I was jealous. Heck, I didn’t realize I was jealous until she kissed me late one night while we were cabin hopping. It was surprising, it was amazing, and it was so confusing! She was a total romantic who made me feel special. Soon, we were sneaking off to make out every chance we got.
WHO IS TO BLAME
Sexuality is a spectrum with lots of space for everyone. Why shouldn’t a cowgirl explore the open range? There’s no reason not to follow your heart’s wanderlust, especially if it could lead you on fun adventures!
The female form is sexy. In fact, not even women can resist it! While men aren’t necessarily turned on by sexy shots of other men, studies have proven most heterosexual women are seduced by images of both men and women. Even the straightest girl can see the beauty in another lady. Like any sexual relationship, you’ll feel the chemistry. When you’re out and about, somehow you naturally get drawn to people you’re attracted to. While you might be used to guys coming on strong, there are other signs someone likes you. Flirting, touching your arm, complimenting your body, laughing at your jokes, checking out your cleavage, etc…look for these signs of lust. Above all, stop thinking about what you usually go for and start grabbing what you actually want.
WHAT TO DO
Gayelles are everywhere! It sounds hokey, but it’s true. Although trying to jump every girl in Straight Town may not go so well. To meet your match, go to a lesbian bar, a concert or gallery show of an artist with a lesbian following, join a feminist group or ladies’ sports team, or even try your hand at talking to women online. Just like real estate, you can up your chances of success with location, location, location.
WHERE I WENT WRONG
I panicked about having to “come out.” I was just a kid and I was afraid my experiences with another girl were defining me solely as gay, when I still was also attracted to guys. I thought going further with a girl than I ever had with a guy up to that point was going to send me down the yellow brick road for good. I just didn’t know how to define myself, when the truth was, I didn’t have to. And I still don’t! Although I do like “heteroflexible.” It’s got a nice ring to it!
You can’t hurry love, no you just have to wait. But as Natalie Portman says, “Why would you close yourself off from 50 percent of people?”
You’re sure to raise some eyebrows! But I find the most embarrassing moments come from girl-on-girl action that is solely meant to get attention, particularly from men. It perverts the honesty of sexual desire and reduces you to a piece of meat. It’s totally cringe-worthy behavior that can induce shame. After all, you don’t want to Google “hot girl-on-girl” and see a trashy picture of yourself drunkenly making out with some chick at a bar.
Now, if your feelings are genuine, depending on how supportive you think your friends or family would be, you may want to use discretion. It’s hard enough to do something for the first time without scrutiny. As you know, hitting on anyone in a public situation makes your love life public and you might be asked a lot of questions you don’t want to answer or don’t have answers for. You may want some privacy!
However, though I kept my first fling a secret until it was long over, I was shocked at how many of my lady friends have had similar stories! My buddies have been so supportive, to this day, I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t freak out on my first girlfriend about being labeled a lesbian. Sigh, perhaps she’s the one that got away…. Now, as an adult, I try not to make that mistake again. I do who and what I want!
1. Handywoman: Know how to get yourself to the finish line without revving up a sex toy. If you can’t masturbate with your hands, how are you going to get off another girl?
2. Chill Out: You can’t enjoy yourself if you’re nervous or wondering what everyone else is thinking. Clear your mind and your ass will follow!
3. Virgin Territory: Unlike men who find virgins absolutely irresistible to the point that they’ll put up with any squeamishness, you’ll find the total opposite attitude is true in the gayelle community. Women don’t like to feel like they’re just being messed with or used for one night. So be enthusiastic, engaging, and above all, your sexy self!
4. Fantasy Island: Imagine yourself finally getting together with another hot chick. What would you like to do? To get some ideas, you can watch some real lesbian porns — not the kind that’s targeted at straight men, but actual porn made by women, for women. The fantasy situations you dream up will give you the fuel to keep your fire burning all night!
5. Man Up: Some women like to incorporate their boyfriends in their first lesbian experience because they’re nervous, but men are not a sexuality safety net. It’s still going to be you and another woman in bed having naked time together. If you’re down, go for it! But don’t think it’s going to be any “less gay” if a man is there.
6. Even The Score: It’s not fair to let someone do for you, if you’re not willing to do the same for them. Be considerate. Don’t be selfish!
There is no right or wrong way to experiment. You’re never too old or too stuck in your life to fulfill a fantasy. Listen to your heart; go with your gut. If you feel yourself being attracted to someone, don’t over think it. Suppose you do start making out and then you don’t want to go all the way. Hey, that’s okay! Just like any sexual encounter, what you do and don’t do is up to you. Going for another girl may take you out of your comfort zone, but so long as you’re willing to try something new and keep an open mind, you should do what comes naturally! Luckily for women, it is socially more acceptable to put the moves on another lady. When you feel sexy and your partner feels sexy, you’re doing everything right.
1. Over the past decade, the number of women who said they hooked up with another woman almost tripled to reach 11.5%!
2. Freud felt everyone could become bisexual in their lifetime.
3. Teen star Hayden Panettiere openly admits to experimenting with women, even though she’s been linked to “Laguna Beach”‘s Stephen Colletti and Milo Ventimiglia. But she’s not the only bisexual Hollywood superstar — Drew Barrymore, Paris Hilton, Margaret Cho, Madonna, Megan Fox, and Angelina Jolie have all admitted to lovin’ at least one lady.
4. A lot of schoolgirls have flings with other girls. There’s actually a term for it — L.U.G. (Lesbian Until Graduation).
5. The bisexual pride flag is made of pink (homosexual) and blue (heterosexual) bands that overlap to form purple (bisexual). Hey, that’s Amelia and Catherine’s favorite color…