Papa Bach, Engagement Take-Backs & Cowards

Last night’s episode of “The Bachelor,” and more specifically, the “After The Final Rose” special, hit close to home. After all, I was engaged, and then overnight my fiance decided he needed to go on a break, which was really him dumping me without saying so and looking like the bad guy, and I was never given the chance to fight for our relationship. It’s all good now, seriously. After much therapy and tears and internal reflection, I am doing just dandy and have definitely realized that our breakup was for the best. I suspect Melissa will come to realize this too, if she hasn’t already, and I’m sure everyone in her life is going to say things to her like, “Better now then after the wedding! Better now then after you have kids! Better now!” which is what everyone still says to me. And it’s true. YES, better now. But still, the fact that my ex, and Jason, made a decision that ultimately is better for the other person involved, doesn’t take away from the fact that they are selfish, immature, somewhat prickish d-bags. The fact that it’s better in the end for me, and for Melissa, is just luck and coincidence. It’s not a good deed. Neither wins a medal. End results matter, sure, but so does intent. The main thing Melissa seemed pissed about on ATFR was that Jason completely cut off communicating his feelings to her, that he wasn’t willing to fight for what they had at all. Conspiracy theorists say that the reason was that he was never interested in being with her, period, and had intended on being with Molly regardless of his on-air decision. But if that’s not true, if he really did choose her with the best intentions, he still proved himself to be a coward by backing out of their relationship so quickly, six weeks in. Of course, this is a reality dating show, so it’s not like they knew each other for very long to begin with, but “Bachelor” contestants have said time and time again that it is possible to fall in love in that situation, because it’s so intense. What’s unfortunate is that unlike past Bachelors, Jason has a kid, who he dragged into this mess. In the last year, Ty has met three serious contenders to play his New Stepmommy — DeAnna, Melissa, and Molly — and, if my suspicion is right, tonight Papa Bach will make that official by proposing to a woman for the third time in 2008-2009. If a chick did the same, she would be called a lot of nasty names.

Relationships, no matter how they start, take work. The reason why there is so much divorce in this country is because the minute the going gets tough, too many people are quick to cut their losses and run, always in search of something more perfect. My ex felt like there was something missing between us and that’s why he ended things. I have my own opinions on that excuse, but regardless of whether he was right or not, after nearly five years, wasn’t recapturing that feeling worth fighting for? I thought it was. He didn’t. Ultimately, that fact makes him unworthy and not right for me and I’m cool with that. I’m just not going to send him a thank you card.