Who Should Meghan McCain Date?

Poor Meghan McCain. It’s hard dating when you’re the daughter of a former Presidential candidate. Especially when he lost. But I’m not just emoting here — Meghan has expressed these sentiments in a new blog post over at The Daily Beast. In her column, “Looking For Mr. Far Right,” she writes that dating for her is a Catch-22 because she finds that she’s not only not attracted to Obama supporters (for obvious reasons), but hardcore supporters of her father too. After all, how’s she to know that the guy is into her for her and not because her dad is a failed presidential candidate? So what’s a gal to do? Obama supporters are obviously too liberal for her conservative leanings, but the conservative guys she dates all seem to have fantasies of being BFF with her dad, or having Meghan put on pearls like her mom. (Who knew pearls were such a turn on?) I have a suggestion. Why doesn’t Meghan date someone absolutely apathetic? Someone who doesn’t give two hoots who won the presidential election and didn’t bother to vote? Someone who says, “McCain who?” and only knows who Obama is because Jay-Z is a fan. Someone like…

Kevin Jonas: Why care about politics when you can ROCK?! The eldest Jonas probably shares Meghan’s values, but I doubt he’s in awe of her father when he and his brothers are way more famous.

Mary Rambin’s Brother: Who better to date Meghan McCain than the brother (if he exists, I didn’t do research) of the most politically nitwitted and apathetic blogger in all of the Interweb?!

Spencer Pratt: I know, I know, he’s taken. And Meghan is friendly with Heidi Montag. But Heidi and Meghan kind of look alike, and Spencer clearly considers politics to be yet another vehicle for him to get press, so he was quick to jump on the McCain/Palin bandwagon, but I’m fairly sure he’s not registered to vote.

Jack Osbourne: These two have something very important in common — people only care what they have to say because they’re the children of famous, wealthy parents. Also, he’s off the sauce now, so he won’t tarnish her rep, but he just former bad boy enough to be a small act of rebellion.

Billy Bush: Did you know the “Access Hollywood” host is a cousin of President Bush? Though they have the same last name, and the same level of intelligence, it was easy to miss that fact because Billy has never really been publicly associated with his famous family. He knows what it’s like to grow up in politics, and choose a far more vapid path instead.

Pierce Bush: If Billy is a little too old (in fact, he may be married, but whatevs), there’s always 19-year-old Pierce Bush, a cute lil’ ginger that’s just as douchey. But I bet he knows how to PAR-TAY!

Bret Michaels: He’s available isn’t he? He loves blonds right? And the only political issue he cares about is making sure gas prices are low — that “Rock Of Love” tour bus costs a pretty penny to fill!