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Red States Heart Internet Porn

No wonder “Nailin’ Paylin” was such a hit for Hustler, red states love the GOP almost as much as they love porn! According to new findings, the people who voted for McCain also have a hard on for internet porn.

The survey, conducted by Benjamin Edelman, an assistant professor at the Harvard Business School, found that eight of the top 10 internet porn subscribing states went Republican in the past election. By searching through credit card data from 2006-2008, Edelman drew his conclusions and the statistics are shocking! With 5.47 people per thousand paying for money shots online, religious Utah was the number one state for porn subscriptions! In addition, states with populaces that claim to “have old-fashioned values about family and marriage,” had 3.6 more internet porn buyers per thousand, on average. Hmm, maybe we should start calling them the “Red Light States!” But Edelman, a business expert, is still not quite sure what it all means, socially speaking. Do we credit pervs with stimulating the economy? Perhaps this data explains all the pussyfooting around the economic stimulus plan — maybe the real package Republicans have in mind is right there in their pants? Or maybe poor Democrats use the free amateur sites? Edelman supposes, “One natural hypothesis is something like repression: if you’re told you can’t have this, then you want it more.” Well, no matter the politics, at least porn is sticking it to the man. [New Scientist]

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