Face Off: Melissa Vs. Molly, Who Will Win Papa Bach’s Heart?

Finally, the day we’ve all been waiting for is here! Papa Bach will give out his final rose tonight and, if the rumor we’ve heard are true, he promptly take it back on the “After The Final Rose” special and give it to the woman he rejected. Now that’s gonna be entertainment! But until then, both Melissa and Molly have a 50/50 chance of winning Jason Mesnick’s heart, and a 100% chance of boring us to tears. In the meantime, as we await the three hour extravaganza (and I’ll be liveblogging it, per usual, pity me), here’s a Face Off between Bubbly Bitch #1 and Bubbly Bitch #2….

LOOKS Bubbly, ponytailed brunette! Bubbly, ponytailed blond! DRAW
PROFESSIONAL ASPIRATIONS Selling! She’s a sales representative. At one time, she was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, but her dream is to teach first grade. Buying! She’s a department store buyer. MELISSA
FIRST IMPRESSION DRESS Dull. I said, “Meh. Classy?” Dull. I said, “Golfer. Eh.” MELISSA
IN HER CORNER Commenter TexasGirl Commenter Jamie Lee was originally in her corner, as was I, but we jumped ship during the hometown date episode. MELISSA
GREAT DATES She and Papa Bach went for a ride in a helicopter and ate oysters. She cried cause the sauce was so hot! She basically secured her place in the final two by having an overnight camping date with Papa Bach. They both claim there was just lots of talking, but we think there was at least a handy. MOLLY
GAMING STYLE Under the radar. She barely registered on our radar, but The Bach kept giving her a rose. Was he holding a candle for her since the very beginning, despite not much interaction, or was he stringing her along per the producers orders? Aggressive and emotional. In addition to maybe going for it physically during the camping date, she also poured her heart out early. MOLLY
EPISODE IN WHICH SHE “FELL” FOR THE BACH In episode four, Melissa told Jason, “Today proved to me, that I really care about you, more than I expected to. Apparently, I’ve fallen for you.” She cried again, too. In episode four, Molly told Papa Bach, “You’re exactly what I’d want my husband to be and the father of my children to be,” but she said she wasn’t falling for him wholeheartedly until episode six, after he met her family. MOLLY, because she held out the longest.
ALL IN THE FAMILY Her parents were against her going on the show and refused to participate in the show, including when she brought Papa Bach back to her hometown. Papa Bach loved Molly’s family and their obsession with golfing. MOLLY
BIG FLAW Papa Bach worries that she’s too much like his ex and DeAnna. Papa Bach worries that at 24, she’s not ready to be a mom. MELISSA
HOT & HEAVY Papa Bach and Melissa had one of the hottest hot tub make outs in Bachelor history. Papa Bach once said he though Molly was the best kisser, but that was before he smooched Melissa. Still, somethin’ went down in that tent… MELISSA
OVERNIGHT DATE ACTIVITY He asked her to spend the night in the Fantasy Suite and she accepted. She asked The Bach to spend the night with her in the Fantasy Suite before he could ask her. MOLLY