Plucking, Dyeing & Unclogging: Beauty Rituals You Hide From Your Man
You know how it goes: at first you’re mortified to fart around your man and nine months later you guys are chatting it up while you’re on the toilet and he’s in the shower.
But there’s one area of our lives that most women WON’T share with even their hubbies — and that’s our embarrassing beauty rituals that occur behind a locked bathroom door. Are we afraid our boo wouldn’t think we’re sexy if he knew Mother Nature intended us to have a tiny little Steve Buscemi ‘stache? Or is it not the object-of-the-beauty-ritual we are ashamed of, but rather, the act of intimate-parts primping in front of a lover? Notice that I said some couples keep their beauty rituals a secret; when I asked friends to dish on which beauty rituals embarrassed them enough to cause some plucking-waxing-dyeing covert ops, more than a few friends insisted they share everything with their S.O.
Thirty-eight-year old Gillian in Massachusetts wrote in an email, “I’m not hiding a thing! I would hate to feel like my significant other didn’t love me as is. Which isn’t to say I don’t engage in beauty routines — I do. But I think it’s important for him to know what’s ‘natural’ and what takes effort!”
And 24-year-old Brynn in Australia wrote me to say, “I don’t hide any beauty treatments from my significant other!”
Trust me, I’m the last person to suggest women are only attractive if we are hairless, taut and not gray. But some of us have a few stray hairs on our nipples that look like whiskers on a catfish which need to be tweezed.
And they need to be tweezed IN PRIVATE.
Here are some other beauty rituals women hide from their partners…
“I use that cream hair removal stuff for my upper lip. I’m too chicken to wax there on a regular basis. I hide the cream in a drawer in our bathroom vanity; I don’t think he really goes digging through there.” — Lola, 35
“I don’t love him to see me get in and out of padded bra. I’ve got small boobs, and obvs he’s seen those, as he has also seen the padded bra version of me in clothes. But I just feel sort of lame to stand before him in the bra.” — Brittany, 32
“I pop zits on my face and back, but not at her place, of course.” — Carly, 24
“Maybe three years ago, I had a huge cold sore on my lip and my doc prescribed me Valtrex (the genital herpes medicine) because it makes cold sores go away faster. I’ve kept the unused pills just in case I ever get one again. When my ex stayed at my apartment a couple of weekends ago to watch my cat while I was out of town, he was looking for shampoo in my cabinet and saw the Valtrex bottle. He called me and was all like, ‘Do you have herpes?’ From now on, these will be a hidden item.” — Jenny, 28
“Right before we went on vaycay to the Caribbean, I got eyelash extensions so I wouldn’t have to deal with yucky waterproof mascara. My boyfriend had no idea though he kept commenting how pretty I looked. He thought it was the tan!” — Josefina, 37
“I wax the hair on my TOES, and that is something my boyfriend will NEVER know. He loves my feet and would no doubt be totally grossed out!” — Nicole, 35
“I am desperate to get Juvaderm to fill my deep laugh lines, but can’t figure out how to do it without my boyfriend finding out. The next time he’s out of town, I am so doing it!. — Debra, 28
“I recently got Botox and didn’t tell my boyfriend. I just wanted to see what it was like, and I know he’d tell me I don’t need it. I don’t know if I’ll do it again, but I DON’T feel bad, I mean, how much does he REALLY need to know?” —Michele, 33
“My cellulite cream! While I love the one from Bliss, who wants a jar that says “Fat Girl Slim” on it out in the open? I hide it and pretend it’s moisturizer I’m rubbing on!” — Holly, 26