How To Juggle More Than One Lover
You’ve got a whole lot of love and you want to give it away to every Tom, Dick and Mary! While swinging around town, perking up your love life with new stud muffins sounds oh-so-sexy, there are some pitfalls of passion that could ruin the relationship you’ve already got going on. Loving more than one person at a time, or polyamory, is an exciting lifestyle, but you’ve got to make sure you’re not living too dangerously. You have to look out for jealousy, fear and, of course, number one. So, here are some tips on how to juggle multiple partners and safely share your fun lovin’ attitude about sex after the jump….
1. Silent Treatment: Not telling your partner about the other people you’re dating isn’t polyamory, it’s cheating. Openly discuss your relationships and your partner will feel included instead of jealous.
2. 2-For-1: `Sharing a lover may not fulfill your desire. The “hot bisexual” is a common addition in open relationships, but it doesn’t always work. If you truly want to be free, it’s crucial that you don’t force your partner to go for the same person you want just so you can have them.
3. Handyman: You’ve got to get your relationships in working condition before you go adding on new parts. Make sure you two are built solid, otherwise, you’ll just be headed for a complete break down.
4. One In A Million: Make sure your partner knows why you love them. Assure them that they have a special spot in your heart that no one but them could ever fill. No matter who else you date, they will always remain important to you.
5. Health Nut: When you have multiple partners, you put everyone at a greater risk for passing on STDs. That doesn’t have to deter you from having the sex life your dreams, simply come to an agreement with all your partners about how you want to handle your sexual health. That way, you’ll make everyone feel safe because you openly want to protect yourself and the ones you love. Many polyamorous couples choose to be “body fluid monogamous” which simply means they use a condom with all their partners, except for one.
6. Hard Work: Pay your partners lots of attention. Constantly reassure them you care. Be considerate, be devoted, be thoughtful, be romantic. Even if you’re not committed, this kind of commitment will keep jealousy at bay.
7. Pencil Me In: Keep a calendar you both have access to, whether it’s on the computer or simply hanging up in the kitchen. This way, no one will get stuck waiting around at home. You’ll both know where your schedules sync up, what dates are important, and when you’ll be able to get some alone time.
8. Numero Uno: Take care of yourself. Don’t let your happiness depend completely on your lover because it is your responsibility. If your hobbies and personality fall by the wayside because you’re obsessed with the chase, all you become is easy prey for self-doubt, loneliness, and jealousy.
9. Date Night: Whether it’s a regular date night, or reserving the weekends, make sure you make some dependable time for each other.
10. Rules Of Engagement Sure, all these rules are important, but no one is better at setting boundaries for your relationship than you. You know what you want, what you’re comfortable with, and who you’re dealing with. Here are some issues to discuss:
- Is it okay to bring dates back to the bed you share?
- Does your partner get veto power over the other people you’re seeing? Do they even want to meet your dates?
- Do they want to be included in the sexual experience?
Heck, some lovers don’t care what you do so long as you come home at night to them, but opinions are like assholes. So, listen to your partner and create a bill of rights both of you agree to before you start dating other people.