I had a rather unique sexual experience recently. My boyfriend and I were making love and I was overcome with so much emotion that I began crying. At first, he didn’t notice because we were going doggie style, but once I started sobbing and heaving he knew exactly what was happening. Like any guy, he thought I was crying because I was in pain. But I was just so happy to be with him that I was overcome by the love we share. Now emotions aside, I do have to say that we weren’t having spectacular sex. It was just satisfactory.I don’t really believe that sex gets better when you’re in love. I think that we’re just more forgiving because we love him and don’t want to hurt his feelings. I had extremely amazing oral sex before I even experienced great sex. A friend of mine would visit me just so he could go down on me. I guess I was his special crave. So needless to say, that guy spoiled me for any future partner.
My current guy is just average when it comes to cunnilingus, so it’s really not a necessity for me anymore. I don’t ask for it, and when he gives it I try to enjoy it.
I think bringing this up would hurt his ego and make him timid about sex in general. I’d rather have a few minutes of meh sex than for him to doubt himself for the rest of his life.
Conversely, I once tried to have a one-night stand with this attractive man I met in the Bahamas, but he couldn’t get it up. So I left only to return the next morning to see if his little soldier was saluting. What can I say? I was on vacation and wanted to get my rocks off. This time, he was ready and we had some rather boring sex. I’m talking the kind of sex when you keep thinking: “I could have had a V8!” Or are mentally going over what you’re missing on TV. After that, I felt no need to engage him even though we were staying at neighboring hotels, kept bumping into each other on the island and lived in the same city. I’m sure this guy figured out that I thought his sex was wack, but I didn’t care.
Great sex is great sex whether you have a mental or emotional connection with your partner or not. Similarly, mediocre sex is just mediocre. It’s OK to be so completely in love with your partner that you put his feelings above your needs for mind-blowing sex. You just can’t delude yourself into believing: “I love him, so this sex must be amazing.”