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How To Make Your Rack The Center Of Attention

Veronica Valter, of Million Dollar Looks, wrote an awesome story called “7 Tips For Women With A Big Bust.” While her advice, from getting bras that fit to swimsuits with cup support, was all good, it was a little too modest for girl like me with big ta-ta’s who likes her bragging rights. If I wanted to lessen the impact of my golden globes, I would have gotten a breast reduction like our babelicious Wendy. Her new sweater kittens are sweet and really prove that any titty committee is sexy. Well, I’ve got some tips of my own, and I think they work on melons, both big and small. But they do require one special size — a gigantic amount of confidence. Especially if you’re stacked, there is just no hiding them. So why try to conceal what was made to be revealed? With that ethos, here is my advice for making your tits the center of attention!

1. Make-Up: This tip is the gospel truth I learned from the Queen of Cleave herself, Dolly Parton. We all pay so much attention to evening the skin on our face, but what about our boobs?! After all, all eyes are on them — even if you’re surrounded by a band, Kenny Rogers, back up singers, and giant sparkly set pieces. So, use powder or bronzer and, in some cases, even blush, to make your cleavage pop and match the tan on your face. Now, think twice about using something extreme like foundation; it’s only for those times when you have a blemish to hide and, even then, use sparingly. No one wants to peel off your bra and see a painted tan line…or worse yet, eat that bad make-up job! 2. Low Rider: Wear plunging necklines, like deep Vs and scoop necks. The only crew you should have on your body is a crew team! Always show at least 20% of your cleavage, which brings me to my next point….

3. Tease It:Show heavin’ cleave, but do net let any of your bra show. It ruins the illusion that your boobs are in perfect shape. People should think your tits sit pretty naturally, even if it takes curved metal rods to hold ‘em up. That’s Victoria’s Secret, so keep it!

4. Turn On Your Headlights: Now I know women find the sight of another woman’s nipples unseemly — just ask Beyonce and her pointer sisters at the Obama’s Inaugural Ball. However, men love it! They already have a hard time not staring at your ample bosom, but when they can see your nipples, it’s like ten times the attention getter. So don’t be shy about tweaking them for a special occasion.

5. Skin Tight Tops: Show the globes off! Wear tops that hug the full roundness of your breasts. Wrap tops and spandex really highlight the appealing under-boob.

6. Show Off: When it comes to ta-tas, if you can see all the supply, it lessens the demand. You can’t just put it all out there, sadly. Even if you get cast in the “Rock of Love 4,” do yourself a favor and never show more than 40% of your assets at any time.

7. Squeeze: Cleavage is awesome, but not when it resembles fat rolls or muffin top. Make sure your bra and you shirt do not pinch, restrain, or form a band across your boobies. Especially if you’re busty, their beauty must be unencumbered.

8. Bejewel: Don’t sport chokers, they can make you look saggy. Wear necklaces that dip down low to meet the top of your rack. Nothing ups the wow factor and points the eye in the right direction quite like some shiny glitz. Set the standard high!

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