Before I start, I want to tell my current boyfriend something. Babe, I did not cheat on you while I was in Chicago.
Now that that’s out in the open, let’s begin. You went on vacation, you met some hot guy, you [insert excuse here] that you had a boyfriend, and you [insert what you did with hot dude]. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to tell you what you should do — and what I did – afterward. Confess. Why? Honesty really does matter, even after drinking way too many no-salt margaritas.
Not fessing up is a sure sign that you’re relationship isn’t based on being open with each other. As any good psychiatrist will tell you, openness is important by any standard. Sure, he’ll never know what you did on that beach without him, but you will. And you’ll probably remember your dishonest behavior for a lot longer than you’ll have that post-vacation glow.
One caveat: If he’s not important to you (i.e., he has no job and plays video games all day), and you planned on breaking up with him a few weeks after your return, go ahead and break up with him without telling him.
But if you like him, come clean. If you truly care about someone, staying in an honest relationship is key. Telling him the truth means you’re giving up some of your control and taking a risk. Before you proceed, be ready for him to freak out. Calmly explain the situation and try hard to avoid any details, without sounding too cryptic, even if he asks. Using purposely-vague language prevents him from replaying the entire ordeal in his mind — a plus if you want him to forgive and forget. But this isn’t the time for more lying. Then, wait. Be sure to give him a couple of hours, a few days, several weeks, or as long as he needs. That’s it. There’s no trick.
After all this is over, there’s a good chance you may be done forever, but sometimes, especially if you’ve only been unofficially seeing each other, people are inclined to give second chances. Or maybe there’s another excuse that he can convince himself of in order to keep dating you. But there’s also the chance that trust will always be an issue.
If he tells you to remove your toothbrush from his medicine cabinet, don’t stress too much. Start dating again, and be proud that in the end you had the guts to do the right thing.