Ask The Astrosexologist: Should I Stay With My Alcoholic Libra Boyfriend?
I’m a Leo (8/10/82) and my boyfriend is a Libra (9/25/81). We’ve been together for about two years and it’s the most compatible relationship I’ve ever had. Most of the time, he’s very sweet to me and would do anything for me. We love each other, marriage has come up in conversation, and we live together. However, he has a slight drinking problem. He’s cut back a lot since we temporarily broke up and got back together. He doesn’t drink every day, all day anymore. He’s not a violent drunk, and, actually, most of the time he doesn’t even get drunk.
Lately, though, when he has been drunk, he gets a little belligerent and says idiotic things that make no sense. It’s like he’s suffering from dementia. It’s really irritating, especially when he does this around my friends and makes them think he’s an idiot. When I tell him how he’s acting, he’s dismissive. Yesterday, he even called me a bitch, which he knows is my trigger word. I’ve been with an alcoholic before and the relationship was a terrible mess. I don’t want this one to get that way. Is it worth letting him take the slow road to recovery or should I just give up? – Fed Up With Nonsense Nowhere in this letter does it say he’s in recovery or even accepts he is an alcoholic. Until that is on the table, yes, you should definitely distance yourself from this messy situation. Sure, you left him once before because of his drinking, but it seems you went back and no real deal was made, other than he cut back a little. Now it sounds like he’s headed back to the same place. However, no matter what amount he is drinking, it’s clear he has a drinking problem and until he takes responsibility for his addiction, you can only be responsible for yourself. Reread your letter; it’s peppered with excuses for him, like, “He doesn’t drink every day all day anymore; he has a slight drinking problem; he’s not a violent drunk, etc.”
It sounds like you are trying to negotiate with yourself to justify the situation. Libra is a social sign and loves to have fun, but they never rush to do anything unless they want to. Sure, you can be as patient as you want to be, but where is the motivation for him to stop? In most cases, it takes something drastic — like an accident — for someone to acknowledge their addiction. All you can do is talk to him and tell him how you feel, and offer suggestions and alternatives. However, it is his responsibility to get himself in order — if he wants help, you can be there for him, but sacrificing your own peace of mind and happiness should never be the price you pay for his problem. Whatever that motivation is for him to quit, you can’t sit around and guess. Yes, you love him and yes, you have a sweet relationship in-between his drinks — but is that enough? Of course not!
Being that you have a Virgo moon, you tend to be a server, thinking you have to work at things to get them — which is not the case. Plus, you have a Venus in Cancer, which dictates being too nurturing to needy types because there is a sense of insecurity in you and that is how you feel needed. Of course, being a Leo, you need to let your pride take control here and see that in this relationship, this guy loves the booze more than your own happiness and until he can put you first, there is no reason you should be putting him first. While there is no clear-cut solution to your dilemma, it’s clear you both need space and perhaps couples counseling. You need to figure out your options and he needs to take a good hard look at himself in order to see if there is any future for your relationship. A good time to incite this talk and a time for you to sort out what you need to do is January 26th, which is next Monday. It’s a new moon eclipse in your solar 7th house, which is your partnership house. It’s perfect to start sorting out new boundaries, goals and ideals for your partnerships (whether it be with him or not) — because until you realize you deserve a relationship where you are a priority over their vice, you will continually be fed-up with nonsense.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query! For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.”