Ask The Astrosexologist: A Dramatic Aries/Aquarius “Non-Relationship”
I’m Aries female seeing an Aquarius male for the past eight months. We started off purely sexual, after a year of flirting and shortly after we both got out of previous relationships. He has made it clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I agreed. But our feelings have grown stronger and we have expressed love for each other. He still maintains not being ready for a commitment, yet has gotten extremely jealous at times. In fact, we had our worst argument yet when my ex allowed me to store my things and stay in his extra bedroom when I moved out of my apartment, until I got back on my feet. (Please keep in mind that Mr. Aquarius knew I was going to be in transition and never offered for me to stay with him.) My Aquarius man ended up in the hospital from the stress of this past argument, expressing that his “love for me was about to kill him.”
I’ve never been in a “non-relationship” that was this dramatic. I really do care for this guy. However, I find it hard to follow invisible relationship rules. I have no urges to cheat on him and I completely trust him in that department as well (we’re highly compatible sexually). He’s still not ready for a relationship, yet tells me he’s never experienced a love so strong. What can I expect with him? I feel he’s being manipulative. Should I just to be patient, because it’s the Aquarius tendency to take relationships slow? I’m a typical, impatient Aries…and feel I have compromised a lot of myself. Should I just leave him alone? – (Im)patiently WaitingThrough the recycled words of Alexyss K. Tylor via Dlisted’s Michael K, “You’ve been dickmatized!” Get deeper in touch with your impatient Aries side and get going! Don’t you see he’s having his cake, eating it too and being a crazy lunatic all the while?! The getting jealous and being possessive over you, when he really hasn’t “claimed” you, is absurd. Plus, causing all that drama is not called for by anyone, committed or not.
These ploys of his all sound like control tactics and what are you getting out of it? Great sex, but nothing else — and with your desire to have something more secure and emotional, the price you’re paying to get off is a mind f**k of infinite proportions. Aquarians are the quirky turkeys of the zodiac and have an odd take on life. When it comes to emotions, they are in no way linear. They don’t process them the way a fire sign would, like yourself — but that is no excuse for his bad behavior — such as making a fuss about your ex helping you out when he didn’t. That is so messed up. He wants, but he doesn’t give!
All astrology put aside, this situation just doesn’t add up in any way that is good for your soul, as it’s just one drama after another. You’re an Aries, a sign that thrives on challenges (and drama), but make no mistake on what is a worthy battle versus one that will just result in emotional bloodshed (the one you’re in). Mix this with your Gemini moon in the twelfth house and your over-nurturing Cancer ascendant, and you’re a lady that gets herself into emotional knots thinking there is going to be a fairy tale ending that never comes.
Sorry, this wacky Aquarius and Libran moon guy is bad news. Seriously, would you even stand this behavior with someone trying to be friends with you? Not doing you any real favors and then claiming to be hospitalized because of your actions — which includes just taking help from a friend that offered it, when he didn’t? Instead of stressing another minute more over this guy, time to break the addiction and plan for the future — one that has you being in a passionate and fulfilling relationship with someone that can own up to his feelings without doling out head games and guilt complexes.
On the astral agenda for you are awesome aspects too! As of Jan. 10, 2009 (yes, just this week they started), a cycle of eclipses that will take two years to complete began in Cancer and Capricorn. Eclipses are amazing. They are surprise elements that come in and offer up challenges to have you revamp your own esteem, the way you view yourself, the way you want the world to see you and this in-turn also changes the way you have relationships, as it focuses on the 1st and 7th house, which in astrology is your identify and relationship houses respectively. This makes 2009 the start of a new way of doing things — if you want it. Astrology is always all about free will, so it’s up to you to take on that challenge.
Helping you along is also Jupiter, the planet of luck, which entered your house of hopes and wishes on Jan. 5, 2009 until early 2010, bolstering this year to be the one to get on the ball with aiming higher, as in stop denying yourself of something and someone you really can hold onto, instead of this bucking bronco ride you are on with this nutty Aquarius. Sure, you have the right to wait — but for what? 8 months for a guy that is claiming to have breakdowns and not be ready to be committed is a recipe for a bad relationship — which you are already in, despite the formal agreements. With these aspects you have now, the universe is begging you to take actions to find true happiness, so get in touch with the Aries warrior energy and stop compromising anymore of yourself or forever hold your peace.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query! For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.”