We See Chick Flicks: Bride Wars

Starring Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson

Against my better judgment, and the groans of many, many people I respect and whom I want to respect me, I saw “Bride Wars” on Sunday afternoon. [With me! What? I’m not ashamed. — Editor] Everyone who has seen the trailer and or merely read the title knows exactly what this movie is about. Trust that it goes no deeper than that.

The Lowdown: Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway have been the bestest of bestie best friends since childhood, preoccupied with weddings and obsessed with their own versions of dream ceremonies at NYC’s The Plaza Hotel in June (apparently THE month to get married). And as fate would have it, they get engaged within days of one-another — I know, I was totally shocked too! I mean what a coincidence!? — and they immediately head straight to the best wedding planner in town (played by Candice Bergen in her 10,000th supporting role). There, they book their weddings for perfectly timed slots in the first and last weeks of June. But wait! Don’t get too excited for them, because there’s a problem! Their weddings have been booked…wait for it…on the SAME DAY. Gasp!

As the previews indicate, all hell breaks loose, perspective is thrown out the window, and 20 years of feminism gets f**ked over with a bouquet of roses. There are many disturbing things about this film. First and foremost is the blatant and aggressive stereotyping of women. Hathaway is the “nice” brunette, who works as a schoolteacher. She’s a bit of a pushover, doesn’t make as much money and settles for the not-quite-as-cute fiancé. Hudson on the other hand is the cunning blonde. She’s an aggressive lawyer with a huge salary and a take-no-prisoners attitude — oh, and a much better-looking man.

In “Bride Wars,” women are bewitched by marriage, dreaming of their dream wedding since childhood, obsessed with having the perfect dress, the perfect invitations, and the perfect date. As a married woman, I can wholeheartedly say this is not true — to be honest, I couldn’t have given two craps about the lacey details of my own “big day.” In the film, women — archetyped in Hathaway and Hudson — are portrayed as a desperate species, and if it were to be believed, engaged and unengaged men should run for the hills. But the men in the film don’t get off easy either — they’re portrayed as being utterly disinterested in the wedding details. Most husbands I know were equally preoccupied with the floral arrangements, invites, and food served at their nuptials (whether they admit it or not).

The Verdict: With all THAT said, I did, however, find myself chuckling at times. The dialogue was not as full of clichés as you’d might expect, thanks to “Saturday Night Live”’s Casey Wilson, who co-wrote the screenplay. Speaking of which, when I left the theater, I spotted Wilson in the crowd, trying to go incognito in sweats, and clearly listening in to the crowd’s reaction to the movie. And by the way ladies, if you do bring a date (other than your husband, who you’ve already ROPED into getting hitched with your wiley BRIDEZILLA ways) to this film, don’t expect another date. For starters, how evil of you to drag him to such a stereotypical chick flick — but also how stupid. “Bride Wars” will send any decent man sprinting for the nearest bar.