The emotional affair is when your lover is looking for someone with whom he can experience an intense emotional experience. His primary reason for the affair isn’t sex. Since emotional affairs are more subtle, you’ll have to spend more time gathering evidence because this type of affair is simply easier to deny. Here’s what you should look for, according to Ronald T. Potter-Efron, Ph.D., M.S.W. and co-author of The Emotional Affair after the jump.
- He doesn’t share important aspects of his life with you, including emotions.
- He spends less time with you, his committed partner, and seems bewitched by his special friend, who seems to meet his needs. You’ll notice when he talks about his “friendship,” he seems to have stars in his eyes.
- Your lover and his special friend will seem to have eyes only for each other. Their eyes may brighten or their voices may fluctuate when they’re together. However, their intense connection is probably not sexual.
- He may pick fights with you because he sees his special friend as all good, whereas you are all bad. He may even blame his affair on you, saying “I’m doing this because of you.” You’ll probably get very angry and may want to retaliate, but that will only give him more reason and justification for having an emotional affair.
- He seems to avoid you at all costs. He may come home late. He’s probably not super busy, but may be trying to spend more time with the other person.
- He spends a lot of time on the computer. Most people have Facebook pages or are members of some other social networking site, which, along with online dating, makes developing an emotional affair easier. He may come to idealize an online friend, even though he has never met the person.