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Below-The-Belt Crimes

An Australian woman appeared in court today on a murder charge after allegedly setting fire to her husband’s genitals because she believed he was having an affair. Prosecutors said that Rajini Narayan, 44, told neighbors she had only wanted to burn her husband’s penis “so it belongs to me and no one else.” Talk about a crime of passion! You might think that crimes associated with male genitalia are rare, but in fact, they’re quite common. After the jump, six penis-related crimes from the last year. Removal Without Consent
Philip Seaton, 61, went into the hospital to get circumcised and left without his penis. Seaton’s doctor said he amputated the organ after finding cancer. Naturally, Seaton is suing.

Battery Charge For Biting
Charris Bowers, 27, was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery after she bit her husband’s penis while performing oral sex on him. She told police two different stories, one being that she had bit her husband’s member after he put it in her mouth without consent.

Pumping On The Bench
A former Oklahoma judge was arrested and then convicted on charges of indecent exposure for using a penis pump while on the bench. Apparently his longtime court reporter started hearing sounds, then one day she looked over and saw “his apparatus on his appendage.”

Streaking In Costume
Calvin Morett, 19, was charged with disorderly conduct after he streaked across the stage during a high school graduation ceremony. The judge ordered Morett to write a letter of apology and pay to have it published in the local paper, in addition to paying court fees and performing 24 hours of community service.

Smell Yo’ Dick
A 37-year-old woman allegedly was beaten by her husband after she asked him if she could smell his penis to determine whether he was cheating with another woman.

Penis-Stealing Sorcerers
Police in Congo arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises.

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