New Year’s Resolutions Celebrities Should Make

We’ve already read about the real resolutions celebrities have made for 2009, but we can think of more than a few who need some suggestions. After the jump, New Year’s resolutions 12 celebrities SHOULD be making.

Jennifer Aniston resolves to stop talking about Brangelina and to stop dating John Mayer.
Kim Zolciak resolves to purchase a new wig made out of human hair and to stop telling that cancer story.
Madonna resolves to stop exercising for more than 45 minutes a day and to stop wearing leotards.
Kim Kardashian resolves to stop Googling herself and doing butt shots on the red carpet.
Kanye West resolves to being less self-absorbed and a better sport.
Robert Pattinson resolves to wash his hair at least every other day.
Beyonce resolves to stop appropriating people’s music and choreography and passing it off as her own.
Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Victoria Beckham resolve to smile at the paparazzi every once in awhile.
Matthew McConaughey resolves to put on a shirt while in public.
Paris Hilton resolves to stop wearing pink.
Rihanna resolves to limit her body ink to two tattoos in 2009.
Ryan Gosling resolves to stop being shy and finally ask Amelia out on a date.