“The subject is one of the most common problems that besets marriages: the wife who is “not in the mood” and the consequently frustrated and hurt husband….First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife’s refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him.”
So writes Dennis Prager on TownHall.com. Prager argues that because of the way men identify love, women should have sex whether they’re in the mood or not.Before I annihilate Prager and his misogynistic, caveman point of view, let me just state that I think a couple’s sex life requires compromise on occasion. As much as a woman wants her husband to please her and desire her, so should a woman want to please her partner and show him that she desires him. Sometimes when you’re not initially in the mood, a little willingness to get into the mood is all it takes for both of you to be game. That said, sometimes there is no amount of cuddling, foreplay, dirty talk, or porn watching that can get someone — man or woman — revved up for having sex, in which case the interested party should take a cold shower and chill out. Prager, and men like him, who think a woman’s “mood” have 100% to do with them, needs to remember that the world does not revolve around their fragile egos.
The notion that a man knows his wife him based on her willingness to give her body to him is a generalization I think most emotionally mature men would object to. Secondly, Prager’s belief suggests that sex is something that women give and men receive, rather than an act that reciprocal. Maybe those women that are not in the mood, aren’t in the mood because Prager, and the men he assumes to speak for, act like sexual intimacy is something they are entitled to, but don’t actually have to share. [TownHall.com via Robot-Heart’s Tumblr]