To make a long story short, my breakup is officially official. It became sort of official a few months ago when I decided to call it a breakup rather than a “break” or a “separation,” but it didn’t become officially official until my ex told me, a week ago, that he was no longer in love with me. Until that point, I was definitely holding out hope for a potential reconciliation — after all, the “break” was supposed to be time for him to explore and deal with his issues — but when someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, well, whether you believe them or not, and whether you think they need serious help, you kind of just need to accept it and move on. So I did. And it cost me $527. But it was worth it.Last week I went out to a private holiday party at a bar with some friends. Much booze was imbibed, my purse was left on a table along with a lot of other purses belonging to my fellow booze imbibers, and some making out occurred with a very hot, very 24-year-old, very Latin dude. At 3am, a frantic search for my purse occurred, finally discovering it empty underneath a table, the contents strewn on the floor. All but my crappy camera and apartment keys were gone (as was someone else’s purse and coat). With no money, credit card, ID, Metrocard, or iPhone I was forced (forced!) to bring aforementioned hot 24-year-old Latin dude home with me, because, duh, I needed someone to pay for the cab. Back at home more fun occurred, but you’ll be glad to know I’ve stuck to my six-month sex sabbatical — for now. I woke up in the morning, remembering how nice it was to sleep next to a warm body, not feeling the least bit weird or uncomfortable about being intimate with someone new, and not reminiscing about my ex. I suppose this suggests that maybe I have moved on, a little, and am actually a tiny bit excited about what the future holds.
That excitement cost me $527. That is: $432 for a new iPhone, $80 for a new monthly Metrocard, and $15 to replace my driver’s license. And it was worth every penny.