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A Chip For Your Brain That Will Screw Your Mind

Since your biggest erogenous zone is your brain, scientists are busy working on a vibrator for your mind! More specifically, Oxford University’s department of psychiatry is developing a small chip that would massage the pleasure center behind your eyes, the orbitofrontal cortex. Originally and successfully created to treat the symptoms of Parkinson’s, researchers believe they can use the chip to increase sexual sensations, without all the messy love and aerobic BS normally required for sex. While I’ve been waiting for a sex pill, like the one in “Barbarella” (see above), this chip seems to cause the desired affect permanently. Schwinnng for life! Although, in my enthusiasm, I am getting a little ahead of the research…So far, they’ve gotten as far as having the chip emit gentle shocks that recreate the intense satisfaction of “devouring a delicious pastry.” Since that’s a close second to sexy times, the researchers think it is just a matter of time until the chip can stimulate you to climaxing heaven. Sure, right now scientists are looking into downsides like bleeding and meddling; however, according to Tipu Aziz from the research team at Oxford, “A few years ago, a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a very sexually active woman. She didn’t like the sudden change, so the wiring in her head was removed.” Listen, Mr. Aziz, if she doesn’t want it, I’ll can take it! [Fox News]

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