Handle It: Sleeping Arrangements At His Parents House

You’ve decided to spend the holiday at your boyfriend’s family’s house this year. But the big question remains: Where do you rest your pretty little head at night? Do you share a bed with your man or do you retreat to a lumpy couch and spend your nights in solitude?

Here are some possible scenarios that may play out when you get to his parents’ crib. The first thing you want to do is ask your boyfriend what you should do. Try to get a feel from him on how his parents would feel about the situation before you start making assumptions. Of course, he may not know since guys don’t seem to think about these things.

SCENARIO: His parents have made up the guest room or sofa bed for you.
HANDLE IT: Perfect. There is no confusion here. Your man sleeps in one room. You sleep in another. Don’t be offended. It’s only for a few nights anyway. You can always make out in the laundry room when they aren’t looking. Obviously they have strict rules and don’t want their baby shacking up with someone who’s just his girlfriend. Besides, his mom may tell him to put a ring on it if he wants to share the same bed with you in her house. Beyonce would like this woman.

SCENARIO: His parents tell you to take your bags upstairs and you can sleep in your boyfriend’s room.
HANDLE IT: Now does this mean your man is sleeping in the room with you? This is way too ambiguous for my liking; you would not want to start off on the wrong foot with his parents by slipping into your boyfriend’s bed automatically like it was yours. Play it safe. You could say, “Oh I put some of his things in my bag. Where should I unpack his belongings?” Hopefully her answer will give you an indication of his sleeping arrangements.

SCENARIO: His parents say you and your boyfriend can share his room.
HANDLE IT: How cute. This must mean they are cool with you two playing footsie in the same bed where he probably spent his childhood days discovering his body and reading Playboy. If you want to try and, you know, be respectful, maybe you should say something like, “I don’t mind sleeping in the guest room or on the couch.” That way his mother doesn’t think you two are — gasp! — fornicators. And she’s less likely to pass judgment on you. She may tell you she doesn’t mind you two sharing a bed. But, depending on how old-fashioned she is, you may want to insist on another room, at least for this first visit.

SCENARIO: At the end of the night his parents go to bed and don’t say anything about sleeping arrangements.
HANDLE IT: Well, damn. Now what? You could be polite and ask them where they would like you to sleep, but that may be awkward and uncomfortable. “Yo, Mrs. Beasley, am I crashing on the couch or should I go snuggle up next to your son?” Try the slick approach. “Where do you guys keep the sheets so I can make up the couch to sleep on?” There should be no confusion with that.

Still don’t know where to sleep? Go get yourself a hotel room.