A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex – so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.
So, NPR posted a story saying that condom-less sex is the new engagement ring, because going bareback shows the same or similar kind of intimacy and trust and commitment that traditional marriage does. I see their point, though the man-friend and I dropped the connies well before we got engaged — but only when we’d agreed to be monogamous and had done the all important STD-tests etc. Over at fellow lady blog Jezebel, outgoing Features Editor Moe says about sex without a condom:
“…here is the irrefutable: it feels awesome. Maybe that is because I have only really engaged in bareback sex with the types of dudes who don’t fear HPV and whose diseases I don’t particularly fear, because the worst thing I can think of about most of them is the ensuing lifetime of awkward conversations…”
In other words, sex with condoms sucks, the worst that could happen to me if I go without condoms with a dude is maybe I could get pregnant or get HPV or “diseases I don’t particularly fear” and of having those diseases, the worst part is having awkward conversations with future sex partners. There is so much that is ridiculous about that statement, but I’m not in the business of ripping people apart for their personal sexual choices.
BUT the thing that struck me as most interesting is the notion that sex with a condom is so horrible and feeling-less and lame that risking infection is worth it for the awesomeness of sex without a condom. Maybe I’m nutty, but I never minded using condoms. I’m a paranoid freak so sex with a condom has always been preferable to the best case scenario of going without (having to make an annoying trip to the gyno because I had unsafe sex and need to get tested and/or checked to make sure I’m not with child) and the worst case scenario (you know, HIV, herpes, an unplanned pregnancy, etc.).
Curious about how other people felt, I decided to poll the guys and gals on my IM about how they feel about condoms.