At first, when we found out David Duchovny had checked himself into rehab for sex addiction, we were like, “Damn, that’s kind of hot.” But that was naive. After researching sexual addiction — earlier Susannah Breslin discussed how many think the affliction is a myth — we’re feeling some serious sympathy for his wife of eleven years, actress Tea Leoni. It seems that David’s not just acting sex-crazed on his Showtime series. But how can sex, a natural bodily function, become a disease making headlines? The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Just like drugs and alcohol, some people feel they’re abusing sex and themselves to get a high. But as Breslin points out, even doctors can’t decide if sexual addiction is a real condition or merely a symptom of a larger problem that goes beyond sex. Either way, it’s reeking havoc and wrecking homes. So how can you tell if your man is a slave to his wee man? Seven signs, after the jump…
DIAGNOSIS: Skipping out on plans, missing work, and important events to have sex or engage in sexual activity.
REAL LIFE: Avoiding real social interaction by ditching friends, family, and other obligations to simply get laid.
Example: If sex is on the table, or at least a chance at having it, he or she will miss anything — work, networking events, birthday parties, whatever — because nothing seems as important as getting laid.
DIAGNOSIS: Getting into debt for your desires.
REAL LIFE: Spending more money on internet porn and prostitutes than on necessities and other forms of pleasure.
Example: He or she has a budget for phone sex that sometimes isn’t enough. Like any indulgence, he or she will really splurge , maxing out credit cards. Some people buy expensive watches, meals, cars, but someone with an addiction to see will want to order someone off Craigslist, charge up a phone sex bill, and end up getting evicted when they don’t have the cash for rent.
DIAGNOSIS: Reveling in risky situations without thought or care for the consequences.
REAL LIFE: Putting yourself if harms way — from STD’s to illegal behavior — just to commit a sexual act.
Example: Going to a really bad neighborhood just to get blow jobs under a bridge where tons of hookers hang out and it’s very easy to get caught. He or she would lose their livelihood and potentially go to jail if they were ever busted, but to them, the risks don’t matter.
DIAGNOSIS: Constantly changing partners.
REAL LIFE: Always looking for the next best thing, you’re insatiable. Once you’ve had sex with someone, you just go right back on the prowl.
Example: After having sex with someone, he or she is tempted to practically shout, “Next!” — if only potential partners would line up at their bedside and wait their turn.
DIAGNOSIS: An inability to stop being hyper-sexually active, despite feelings of guilt, shame, and disgust.
REAL LIFE: Your mind is telling you no, but your body is telling you yes, yes, yes!
Example: Sexual activity is followed by anxiety, depression, and loneliness, but he or she still feels unable to curb their behavior.
DIAGNOSIS: Obtaining sex has become as frequent and natural as breathing.
REAL LIFE: It’s always on your mind. If you’re not having sex, you’re thinking about how you’re going to have sex ASAP. You’re obsessed with every dirty detail.
Example: While people like to joke that men think about sex 24 hours a day, a sex addict will truly only be able to concentrate on sex and nothing else. Everywhere he or she looks, there’s sex.
DIAGNOSIS: Sex is seen as a sacred ritual.
REAL LIFE: You have to have or do certain things so you can get off. It’s just not good if you don’t get your exact routine.
Example: He or she has to do it in the same positions, the same order of activity, and/or needs the same verbal expressions uttered during sex in order to get off.