For The Week Of December 8-14, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Not everyone is as together as you, but you can’t penalize another for it. This week, there may be hope if you’re willing to take control and show him the way. Frustrating and aggravating, for sure. Rewarding and touching, surprisingly so. Seems something about his neediness will be endearing and something about your bossiness will be extra saucy.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll have to tune out a lot when it comes to getting the romantic week you deserve. As it’ll go, there’ll be many opinions spewed and many demands made that won’t bode well with your state of mind. However, the visuals will be to your liking and as long as you approach the matters as objects d’art having its nuances they’ll be no pain.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Negotiations with you and sweetie are going to get tough in many ways. Besides seeing another side to that someone you didn’t think could exist, it’ll also bring out a feeling inside of you that you hate. All in all, an emotionally stressful time that’ll have you needing to spend a lot of money on useless things.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your freakiness is about to turn up a few notches as they’ll be a friendly someone that’s been close to you this whole time that’ll unleash his and inspire you to spill all your secrets as if you were the fountains of Trevi — and like that historical spot, if you throw your two cents in, you’ll get what you ask for.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Nobody is perfect and although you know it, you somehow can’t seem to accept it. So, instead of trying to fight yourself and convince yourself that the impossible can happen with this person, remove yourself from the situation where you have these expectations and vindicate yourself. Out of sight is soon out of mind.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Listening to your human sex toy bitch all day blows, especially when he doesn’t pay attention to all your worries and woes. If you’re going to get any satisfaction this week, it’ll be through more private and personal affairs. Tune out the world and focus back on you. If this means plugging in a more loyal friend, at least it’s guaranteed to satisfy without talking back.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Burn the sage and clear the negative vibes from your home. The energy has gone straight up sour. Refresh the mood to revitalize your inner vixen. Although this might sound ridiculous now, do it and in a few days you’ll see your pad return to being party central with your body as the altar in which many will want to worship. After all, what do you have to lose?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Not everyone can be your honey and not everyone can be just a friend. If it were that easy, there would be far less books on the shelves in stores today. So, instead of frustratingly trying to make sense of a star-crossed situation, accept you can’t put a circle in a square and do what you must. Only you can draw this boundary and the chalk is in your hands.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your misguided generosities have burned you before, but you never seem to learn. This time around, you have too much to lay on the line for just any pretty face that you think you can save. Pull the purse strings shut now and put your love where it’ll matter, as in anywhere, but with him. If he’s worth it, let him sort it out and then try to win you back.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ve exhausted explaining your point of view. If that special someone isn’t seeing it, you might have to question his intelligence and weigh out how important the issue at hand truly is versus how dear that oblivious person is to you. However, if you give them the chance to express to you without words what they do understand, you might just find a compromise.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your wild side will be out needing to be satiated. Unfortunately, your logic will be tugging at you, trying to censor your behavior and leaving you one big ole confused mess. Luckily, you’re in the right place at the right time to take cues from your boo, as listening will be bring you the sweetest nectar.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Battles with your baby that you never thought would end are going to. Call it a miracle or a hard won truce, but your peace of mind will get restored. Love it and don’t question it. In fact, best to move ahead quickly to erase the trauma from your minds. If possible, go for a spontaneous weekend love-fest. From there, all things will be possible again.