For The Week Of December 1-7, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

No matter how much logic you use to figure out your boo’s next move, you won’t be successful. He’s going to be unpredictable, shaking up your household and causing major upheavals to your domestic routines. The good news is that your relationship can use a breath of fresh air and this bout of extremes will do more than its fair share to revive the passion.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If your love life has been in a slump, the universe’s suggestion is as follows: put away your preconceived notions, hop on the Internet and strike up an international flirtation just to get your blood pumping. It’ll be far enough to keep you from getting hooked, but accessible enough to get your ready to hit the locale scene more confidently and charismatically.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Talk is boring, no matter how seductive the words, because at this stage of your game, if all you have are promises and no actions, you’re as good as nowhere. This week, stop listening and start demanding. If you’re not getting your needs met, end the charades. The good news, if you stand up for yourself, a just payback for your wasted time will arrive promptly.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ll be feeling inspired and loving life; exuding energy with every step and being you’re in your prime. The bizarre twist to it all? Your attractions will veer right and you’ll find your satisfactions with safer tastes. Hey, whatever gets you off. At the least, this malleable bottom will be the perfect compliment to you being the revved-up-top, so bon appetite!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You know what turns you on, so fess up and own it. Rather than thinking yourself a pervert and hiding your dirty little secret, wear it like a badge of honor. Be proud you at least know that much about yourself, as most people won’t even get that far. Plus, if you say it with pride, you’ll find that right ear to hear it loud and strong, proving that the laws of attraction are on your side.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

It’s sexy to have a secret love affair, but not if you’re having it out of the shame and judgment you feel others will give. No matter, the cat is coming out of the bag this week, as snooping friends catch onto your game and expose your double life. However, unlike what you suspect, the support you’ll get will have you barreling out of the closet with pride

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Listening to your friends is the only way you can get yourself out of the mess you’ve dug up with a current flirtation gone wrong. Seems there’s a dangerous web you’ve woven and it’ll take more than just a few apologies to get you out. Instead, corral the team to create a major strategy with precision execution. Yes, sometimes it takes village to keep your love life on track.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Keep your eye on the prize, as in holding tight to your ideals and zipping your integrity in your pants. You know your instincts don’t lie and going against your agenda isn’t doing you any favors. Besides, if there’s one thing you hate, it’s knowing that another has won something over on you — and in this case, is he even worth it? Don’t let horny curiosity be your downfall.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Being screwed-over by sweet-talking cuties with only sex on the brain has taken its toll. Now, with the tables are turned, it’s you that possesses all the power. However, deciding where to let your karma flow isn’t as easy as you thought, as it’ll contort your mind and twist your body into shapes and places you never thought possible. Seems having a soul isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

As long as you keep your standards low and your patience in check, they’ll be no reason your love life can’t go into cruise control and have you feeling as if you’re on a sunny all-inclusive vacation in paradise. So what if you have to ignore a few details and play up your imagination a little? Just be happy you’ve landed someone to look the part.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Relationships aren’t easy. If it were, would there be as many songs about it or books on how to get a clue? Keep this in mind as your brain hits a crazy place that has your jealousies raging out of control and your paranoia getting the better of you. What does this all mean? You’re in deep. How to set yourself free of this madness? Fess up and admit those three magic words.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll be in that perfect romantic mindset to set the stage for all things beautiful in your love life, worshiping your honey and having the same awestruck emotions flooding back. However, because life is a bitch, things are never that easy. As much as you want the story to unfold flawlessly, realize the one glitch that has this from moving ahead? The workaholic in you.