Liveblogging The Real Housewives Of Atlanta Reunion!

Check back here at 10pm 9pm lovelies! I’m going home to get mildly wasted so I can get through it.8:59 Bring it on bitches. I am already loving NeNe’s new short cropped hair.
9:00 DeShawn has a saucy new ‘do too. And Kim’s wig looks fresh! Bwahaha, already a question about Kim’s age! 30, my ass.
9:02 Deep question about race — do you think they “represented” the black community well? Anderson Cooper thinks so! I love that NeNe is not surprised Anderson loves her. NeNe! NeNe! NeNe! Oh my god, I love these outtakes of NeNe.
9:05 How sad that Curtis just dropped her once the DNA test proved he wasn’t her Dad. NeNe an ex-stripper? Haha, she says she’s not an ex-stripper — she strips every night for Greg. You go girl! NeNe and Sheree really friends? I hope not.
9:06 NeNe we love your boobs too! With a bra and without!
9:08 God-given talent, my ass, Kim. Devil-awarded curse is more like it. Um, album out in January? Self-released, I’m sure. Kim is going to get REAMED this show. Oh NeNe, I worship you.
9:09 Big Poppa! Spill it! On-again/off-again? Please. Off-again. Legally married? Ha! I want to know who Big Poppa is. I mean, I know who he is. “Close your legs to married men!” Whoa, NeNe. She is on FIRE tonight.
9:11 NeNe scares me. I’m glad she’s my friend. Oh wait, she’s not. But I think she would like me. NeNe could beat my ass, and Kim’s, and that host’s too. Trashy hooker? Wow, NeNe seems to think Big Poppa wanted to be anonymous, but Kim says she chose to keep him a secret. This is amazing. And we’re only at the first commercial. Renew Bravo! Renew!
9:16 Sweet, Kim is going to talk about her hair. She claims to have been very sick, lost weight, her hair fell out, and a “doctor friend” told her she had cancer. She says she wouldn’t choose to wear a hairpiece. Her signature growing up was her beautiful hair! Okay, this is mean, but I don’t believe her. Oh and yeah, she didn’t have cancer. BTW. I love how she dropped that in at the end. She had “other stuff” going on. What was the other stuff? This is really sketchy. I think Kim lost her hair from bleaching it so much — that was the other stuff that was going on. Such a big liar.
9:19 I came up with a nickname for DeShawn! DeYAWN. DeYAWN. Good right? Cause she is BORING. Her husband is hot though. I am DeYAWNing.
9:21 Sheree blew off everything and everybody because she is a self-absorbed bitch. HATE. I would rather spend three hours on the phone with DeYAWN then sit next to Sheree for five minutes.
9:22 Okay, I didn’t realize Lisa was hyper. Because to me she was always almost as boring as DeYAWN. Lisa, I think, is mainly just loud. She’s nice though. I don’t have a problem with her. But she could leave the show and I wouldn’t notice. I feel like she’s trying to make herself seem more interesting on this reunion. Maybe she knows Kim and NeNe stole the spotlight. Also, she doesn’t know how to use the phrase “water under the bridge.”
9:25 Something tells me Lisa’s husband Ed has no interest in “Bruce.” Unless he’s on the DL. Oh look, after the break, Kim rats out Lisa for telling her about NeNe’s song in the limo. I knew it! I knew it!
9:30 Ugh, Sheree. What is happening with her sweater? Her big ol’ bang is terrible. Oh God, I cannot wait for NeNe to spit all over She By Sheree. Pee By Sheree. She-ugly By Sheree. S%&t By Sheree. Kim is a suck up. Obviously. She by Sheree will hit your local J.C. Penney’s in Fall 2009! Is that factual? That most designers don’t sketch or sew? I’m pretty sure most of them sketch. Sew, maybe not. But sketch? Yeah. What’s a gold digger? STFU Sheree. You know what a gold digger is. Is Sheree a lez maybe?
9:35 Okay, so if I was naked and there was a fire and I had two seconds to snatch an outfit from Kim’s pile of clothes and NeNe’s pile of clothes, I would take NeNe’s tight ass jersey dresses over Kim’s school girl skirt. So NeNe and Sheree WERE friends and then they had a blowout before the show and then the whole thing with the party happened. Interesting. I want a deeper back story. NeNe doesn’t like it when people hear rumors and don’t come to her to confirm them.
9:38 NeNe is not backing down. I mean, she talks smack, but Sheree does the same and masks it as being “classy.” Lucca wants to know if Bravo is marketing “Team NeNe” shirts for dogs.
9:43 NeNe and Kim’s friendship did fall apart over night. It’s that damn Sheree. I think Kim wanted the smoke blown up her butt by Sheree, and Sheree was blowing it just to piss off NeNe. Ooooh, Kim is talking crap on NeNe’s foundation. Don’t go there Kim! Can we discuss her watch BTW? Tacky and fugs.
9:47 Oof, Kim says Lisa told her about NeNe’s crap-talking. Lisa is denying it and saying Kim is a habitual liar that needs medication. Oh and Lisa says that Kim talks crap on Sheree! I love this. As usual, DeYAWN has nothing to offer or say.
9:49 Of course Sheree is quiet. She is way, way slyer than that. Oooh, NeNe says that Kim’s “chicken” comment was racist. Okay, NeNe, I love you, but that is pushing it. The ladies are moving on, it seems.
9:51 DWIGHT!!! YAY! Dreadful. Just dreadful. NeNe thinks Sheree is a bigger diva. I might actually agree. Although, his hair is DREADFUL. Oh man, Dwight is soooo taking Kim down a notch on her hair. HARSH.
9:54 Dwight loves his toolbox. Oh Dwight. Why aren’t they drinking their cocktails by the way? I have had two glasses of wine in the last 54 minutes. By the way, wasn’t there supposed to be an actual physical fight, as in coming to blows? Is that gonna happen after the break or did they edit it out?
9:59 NeNe and Lisa are working on a domestic violence book together. DeYAWN is in, yawn, school. Kim is working on her fake album and Sheree is working on S**t by Sheree. Can’t wait for next season!

I can’t handle liveblogging the first episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” this week, but feel free to use this thread as an open forum for chatting about the episode! I’ll be back next week to talk all about these blond foolios who have a LOT to live up to after the ladies of Atlanta.