I Was A Celibate Stripper

“So let me get this straight? You’ve been a stripper for the past eight years and you’ve never slept with anyone during that entire time?” Blair, my co-worker at the strip club, asked.

“I know, it sounds really weird,” I said. “I just haven’t. Maybe its guilt from my Italian Catholic upbringing.”

“Kiersten, how is that possible? Come on, that can’t be true,” Blair replied. I was embarrassed that at 30 years old I wasn’t sleeping with anyone. “It’s just that… I’ve kind of been saving myself for Ryan. Just because I’m a dancer doesn’t mean I should give it away to anyone. I mean I’ve only been with like four guys and they were all serious relationships,” I said.

We were sitting around the dressing room on a slow Saturday night, legs wrapped around bar stools, swapping war stories. Almost every steel locker exhibited a bottle of inexpensive champagne or vodka. Blair, a preppy blonde, looked more Park Avenue, then Los Angeles strip joint.

“Ryan’s that guy from Malibu?” she asked.

“Yeah, that one,” I said. “He says we’ll sleep together when the time is right.”

“What do you guys do then?” Blair asked.

“We do other things,” I replied, as the DJ announced: “Next up we have the lusciooous, gorgeooous Kieeersten!”

It was time to become Kiersten, my alter ego. She could handle anything, she was fearless. I liked Kiersten, because I could turn her into anyone I wanted to be…

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