Spoiler alert: Santa doesn’t exist. Strangely, the inclusion in my stocking of practical items like toothpaste and lotion never tipped me off to this. Why would Santa give me boring things like that? I suppose he might have thought I wouldn’t enjoy my chocolate-covered raisins if I had cavities, but these thoughts never occurred to me. This year, don’t make your loved ones aware that Santa is fictional by stuffing their stockings with boring nonsense like travel-size shampoo. Instead, fill their giant socks with junk that has a little pizazz. A shower cap with ears? I can only hope the fat man in red gives me one of those next month.
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Holly Golightly Sleep Mask $14 Fred Flare |
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Sniff Candy Cane Tissues $1.60 The Tissue Store |
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Women’s Cable-Knit Ballet Flat Slippers $10 Old Navy |
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PedEgg Pro Pedicure Foot File $6.99 Drugstore.com |
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Mrs. Meyer’s Peppermint Holiday Candle $9.99 Drugstore.com |
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Sex and the City: The Movie (Special Edition) $19.99 Amazon.com |
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iPod Lego Mini Speakers $19.95 each Wishing Fish |
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Bourjois Stunning Blue Mascara $9.50 Sephora |
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Victoria’s Secret Cotton Button-Front Hipster $7.50 Victoria’s Secret |
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Obama Figure $16 Urban Outfitters |
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Nature Calls Toilet Deodorant Drops $9 Shop Intution |
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Fringe Jolly Soaps $7 Anthropologie |
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Coal Gum $8 Urban Outfitters |
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Hollywood Fashion Tape $7.50 Hollywood Fashion Tape |
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Blah Blah Blah Sticky Notes $3.25 Knock Knock |
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Cork Candles 4 for $12 Plum Party |
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Cat Shower Cap $6 Urban Outfitters |
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12 “Diamond” Rings $18 Plum Party |
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Booboo Kisses Bandages $9 Fred Flare |
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Mini Purse Lights $6.95 Kitson |
