How To Survive The First 30 Days Of A Breakup

Raise your hand if you’ve never had a broken heart. You there, in the back? Yeah, you can leave. The rest of us know that breaking up truly is hard to do. They say it takes roughly half the time you were with someone to get over them, but who really has a year or two to kill the ghost of a relationship gone wrong? If you handle the first month after a breakup right, you’ll be on a better track to move forward more quickly. We’re not suggesting that you can get over it completely and wake up on Day 31 ready to jump back into dating — though if you accomplish that, we might want to bring you in as some kind of breakup expert. But there’s a lot you can do (and, yes, not do) in the first 30 days after a breakup to mitigate the fallout. For instance, do treat yourself. Indulge in whatever sob-fest you have to, complete with Ben and Jerry’s, Sarah McLachlan, and repeated viewings of “Terms of Endearment.” Just know this behavior has a shelf life, and once you’re done, you’re done. Also, it’s OK to let people see you cry; it should probably just be people who can handle it, like your sister, best friend, or roommate. The doorman is probably going to feel a little violated if you get that whole tears ‘n’ snot combo on his snazzy jacket. While we’re on don’ts, you probably know that emailing and calling are verboten. Try not to stalk his house or hangouts either, or keep the sheets on the bed that still smell like him. It might comfort you for a second, but in the long run you’re just making it more painful.

Breaking up is never easy. It’s easy to get into a funk and wind up making the same mistakes in future relationships. However, it’s clear you’re ready to end any cycles and recover from this breakup smarter and emotionally healthier.

Over the next month, First30Days will help you:

* Handle your emotions
* Make a clean break from your ex
* Work on becoming a better partner in the future
* Feel good about being single

On the first day of dealing with a breakup, the best thing you can do is to demand nothing of yourself, or at least nothing other than tasks you absolutely must do, like going to work and paying bills. Allow yourself the time to express your emotions so you can begin to come to grips with breaking up. Cancel negotiable plans and let your friends and family know you’ll be taking a few days for yourself.

DID YOU KNOW? According to a 2006 National Breakup Survey, the two primary reasons for a breakup are not having a shared view of the future with a partner (48%) and feeling unfulfilled or in a rut (41%).

Need more tips on surviving a breakup? Click here, and feel free to add your own, as well.