Liveblogging “True Blood”!

Who’s ready for another episode of “True Blood”? Me! Me! Me! Will Bill get in big trouble with the vampire council? And more importantly, will he get to hump Sookie before he maybe gets sent to the blood sucker big house? God. I hope so. 9:02 I would scream if Sam was in my bed buck naked too.
9:03 We knew this was coming. Sam’s a shape shifter. Do you think he can ONLY shift into that patchy dog?
9:05 $795 IS kind of expensive for an exorcism. Demons travel through technology? Like this blog?
9:07 Ahh, Amy. An organic vegan with no carbon footprint, whose fine with draining a vamp of his blood for a quick high.
9:09 Yes, Sam CAN shape shift into lots of things. Oh, oh, oh and there are two dogs! He has one he shape shifts into LOOKING like. This explains so much. If I could shape shift, I would use Lucca as my model.
9:11 I admit that Sam is slightly cooler now. Slightly. Couldn’t he shape shift into a hotter guy with less douchey hair? Aww, I kind of feel bad for Sam now. Sookie is kind of being a bitch.
9:13 I think Tara just needs a toilet to puke into. Is she going to puke something black? No. It’s just water. That’s not a demon.
9:14 Whoa. Little Tara Spirit. She has to stab herself? Oh lordy. Whoa…the air bled. What did the demon girl do to her? I’m confused.
9:15 Jason has gotten way hotter to me. Haha, he and Amy want to turn their vampire prisoner into Patty Hearst.
9:18 Aww Tara and her mom are cute… Is Terry the killer? Merlotte’s looks like a cute place for a wedding.
9:20 Oh my god, Sam’s beagle was sooo cute….Lafayette waxing his chest on the couch is pretty funny. Who’s his guest?
9:21 Do blow jobs help with stage fright?
9:22 Ahhhahahahahaha, the exorcism chick works at the drug store! Ipecac and peyote!!! Hahahaha! Miss Jeanette’s glasses are pretty cute.
9:24 Rene is hot. But where the f&%k is Bill? This episode is half over, and no hot vampire action.
9:25 Terry is weird. And suspicious….BILLLLLLLLLLL! You’re here!!!! Oh my god, this tooth removal punishment is NASTY.
9:29 Lafayette is smart and totally knows Jason’s behind his vamp disappearing.
9:30 I realllllly don’t want Rene to be the killer…Sookie doesn’t like being left out of the gossip, that’s why she’s pissed she didn’t know about Sam, or Sam and Tara.
9:32 Okay, so if Rene IS the killer, as some commenters have said, why is always killing people connected to Jason? And does that mean Amy is next?
9:33 This Majesty guy reminds me of John Malkovich. Erik has a hard-on for Sookie, I think. Ugh, just let Bill go. I need Sookie and Bill to get a scene together this episode.
9:36 HOW could Rene be the killer? He’s good to Arlene! And to her kids! I don’t think he is. I just don’t. That Terry guy is creepier.
9:37 Tara’s outfit is HOR. RID.
9:39 More Sam flashbacks. Oh no, did his adopted family just take off and leave him?! Whoa. Tara has got her demon back I guess.
9:41 Sigh. Alright. I like Sam now. Are you people happy? I feel for the guy. Give him a haircut and I may even love him.
9:42 Ruh-roh. What are they gonna do to Bill? Bill just slipped into his British accent. Yikes. So they want Bill to kill this redheaded chick? Why? Why is that a punishment for Bill?
9:44 Something bad is going to happpppennnn, I can feeeeel itttttt….it’s the killer!!! Who is it?! What is Sookie envisioning? I’m confused. Okay, so the killer was wearing a black shirt. I think Rene was too. Damnit.
9:47 Okay what the hell was that naked chick?! NO! Amy killed the nice gay vampire! Bitch!
9:49 Ohhh, so they want Bill to make this human chick into a vamp. Well that’s not so so bad. She might like it. I think Bill might be tender with this. Oooh, this is kind of hot. Just enjoy redhead! Sookie did! Well, I guess he didn’t DRAIN Sookie…
9:52 Pretty good episode, but very disappointed that there was no Sookie/Bill interaction.

NEXT WEEK: Lafayette fights for the rights of gay vampires! Oh no, Sam and Sookie make out? Blech!