Levi Johnston, We Hardly Knew Ya

Oh Levi. Will we ever see your handsome face again now that YOUR road to the Whitehouse is over? Something tells us your 18-year-old patience will not keep you around long enough for a potential Palin Presidential run in 2012, which is why we’re thinking about what you’re doing RIGHT NOW. After the jump, some of our theories about what’s currently on the young lad’s agenda.Right now, Levi Johnson is…

  • Changing his Facebook status to “single.”
  • Huffing on a can of computer duster.
  • Calling up tattoo parlors and asking how much they charge to cover up a lady’s name with the American flag.
  • Joining a fraternity.
  • Hunting moose with his boyyyyyz.
  • Masturbating to the Nature channel.
  • Telling Bristol, “It’s not you, it’s me, baby.”
  • Selling his Republican National Convention suit on eBay.
  • Texting raunchy messages to Paris Hilton.
  • Crying.