The Olsen Twins Want Their Coffee With A C-Cup

According to a Swedish study, three cups of coffee a day will make your boobies go away. So, in Page Six magazine yesterday, I debated the dilemma with a swimwear buyer for Victoria’s Secret, Courtney Alexander. I proudly proclaimed I’d skim a little off my bra size to keep my morning pick me up. However, I felt bad for the coffee-and-A-cup-combo pictured with the article, poor lil’ Ashley Olsen. Now, there’s a rumor circulating that Ashley wants a boob job, and is trying to drag Mary Kate under the knife too. Somebody call Uncle Jesse to talk some sense to these babes! First of all, there was a countdown to their 18th birthday, that’s how sexy these twins are considered. Seriously, how many billions of dollars do those bitches need to make before they appreciate what they’ve got? In addition, I think prescribing Mary-Kate painkillers for plastic surgery just when her careers is back is a bad idea. And speaking of the back, their frail frames just can’t support giant jugs. They’ve already got goods that are totally proportionate! So, I’m sorry you gals got called flat-chested for your caffeine habit. I’d be happy with your bra-less-ly perky tits, life, clothes…hell, I even loved the Olsen brand blow dryer! You don’t have to get fake just to make it, we already adore you ladies, just the way you are! [Page Six and People]