What’s it like to be a sex writer? Inquiring minds want to know. To find out, we asked Lux Alptraum, editor of sex blog Boinkology and Gawker Media’s Fleshbot, and a Heeb100. After spending a decade covering the wild world of sex, Lux reveals what a day in the life of a sex writer is like, how covering sex affects her love life, and why sex will never be boring.The Frisky: How did you become a sex writer?
Lux Alptraum: Long before I was a sex writer I was a sex educator: I’ve been working in sex ed, in one way or another, for over ten years. I got my start in high school as an HIV/AIDS peer educator at the Red Cross, and just stayed involved throughout my college years — as an HIV pre-test counselor, rape crisis center advocate, researcher at the health education program — and beyond — as a sex educator at an adolescent pregnancy prevention program and a sex blogger. I got into sex writing largely because it was an easy and obvious way to spread a message that was important to me: that sex and sexuality are healthy fundamental parts of our lives that we should celebrate and openly talk about — rather than stigmatize and treat as a taboo topic.
F: What’s an average day in the life of a sexpert like?
LA: Is there an average day? Because I currently work as a blogger, my day mostly involves getting up, getting on my computer, and searching for interesting material to write about — pretty much the same thing that all other bloggers do, except with a focus on sex. In my previous sexpert incarnations, though, my average days looked a lot different — I’ve had times when I did a lot of hands on work with people who needed counseling, education, and support; times when I’ve done a lot of workshops; times when I’ve done more research than writing. It all depends on how I’m channeling my sexpertise.
F: How has being a sex writer affected your love life?
LA: Only in the best of ways. I used to worry that I’d have a hard time finding someone who’d be willing to date someone in my field. Now I realize that anyone who’d judge me for what I do isn’t worth my time. Being a sex writer means I’m knowledgeable about sex, get lots of free porn and sex toys, and am really good at communicating with my partner: clearly a recipe for a great sex life!
F: What role has technology played in your career?
LA: A huge role, actually. I’ve been able to get to where I am because of work that I’ve done on the internet — work that, in many cases, started as something I was doing by myself, for myself, that others took interest in.
F: What is the biggest misconception about sex?
LA: I think the biggest misconception out there is that sex is only appealing if it’s taboo. Many people seem to think that normalizing and destigmatizing sex and sexuality would somehow result in sex becoming “boring” — but trust me, that’s the furthest thing from the truth.