Penises have caused many people to do many things. In the case of construction, builders keep on raising the bar, inch by inch! While most people look up at these buildings in awe, we’re pretty sure the architects looked down at their crotches for inspiration. In honor of the structures that remind us of our boyfriends, here are The Seven Phallic Wonders of The Modern World.
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The Chrysler Building Pay attention to the tip, it features a well polished art deco design. The tallest skyscraper in New York for almost a year, developers have tried to surpass its size since the day it was raised. What’s the architectural equivalent of penis envy? |
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Agbar Tower While it resembles London’s glass Gerkin, Barcelona unveiled the youngest member on the phallus scene in 2006. Owned by the water company it’s named for, this tower looks like it could squirt at any moment. However, it’s really known for flashing! There are 4,500 LED’s tucked under the glass |
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Big Ben Like a nickname you’d give a gifted lover who must mind the gap, Big Ben usually refers to the Clock Tower attached to the Houses of Parliament. However, it’s actually the main chime that sounds the time that bears the name. Isn’t function always a formality? Still, the people of London agree, Ben can ring their bell anytime! |
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Eiffel Tower Gustave Eiffel is a pretty cocky guy to name this biggest structure erected in Paris after himself. The most visited monument in the world (200,000,000 and counting), this tower of manly power sends signals your way, FM radio and television. |
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Petronas Towers Double the phallus, double the fun! These two penis-a-likes look like they are wearing a condom that is ribbed for her pleasure, but actually, it’s just 88 floors of glass. Built by Malaysian oil company, Petronas, these edifices could support some serious drilling. |
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Washington Monument This monumental tribute to our country’s father is in the grand tradition of European obelisks and just as pasty. While the nearly flesh color adds realism, so does the giant reflecting pool. Men just love to do it in front of a mirror! |
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One Hanson Place The tallest building in Brookyn — yes, Brooklyn — was once the Williamsburgh Savings Bank Building, and a historical landmark. Now it’s been remodeled into a super luxury high-rise condominium for the borough’s elite! Manhattan can suck it, literally. |
