• Relationships

Men Hate Our Clutter

I have a lot of collections: miniatures, toy guns, vintage hats, art books, concert set lists, magazines, records, high heels, etcetera. While I thought I was collecting boyfriends the same way, apparently all my tchotchkes are scaring them off. According to Alex Froud, who wrote “Throw Out The Knick-Knacks: Why Must You Women Have So Much Clutter?” nothing makes a penis go limp quite like a bunch of personal touches. Froud, a happily married man, describes his wife’s influx of home accessories as “Chinese water torture — but with ornaments.” So, let me get this straight, no guy thinks my leather bound state quarter collection is sexy?! I’ve always been trepidacious about bringing a man back to my place because I’m not exactly neat-nick, but now I’m worried my ruining my chances because I have knick-knacks. I thought all my curiosities were visual shorthand to the inner workings of my quirky taste and interests. However, it seems putting yourself all out there with your goods is terrifying to dudes. So, am I supposed to hide my public displays of affectation? Isn’t putting all of my favorite things in the attic like Anne Frank-ing my personality? Or am I just a pack rat using my vagina, the only box I can’t store things in, to validate my every growing number of trinkets? Hmm, maybe it’s all a matter of finding a partner with just as much junk. I doubt Jay-Z tells Beyoncé to throw out her collection of bling. [Daily Mail]

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