Seven Realities Of Shacking Up
Our brother from another mother, the venerable dude site AskMen.com, has some words of wisdom for their readers on the perks and perils of shacking up with your one-and-only. We thought the advice was so universal, we thought we’d share it with the broads who read The Frisky. Enjoy!
Asking your girlfriend to move in with you seems like a good idea. It’s the fantasy of waking up to freshly brewed coffee, hot waffles and clean, matching socks that has you contemplating the big question: “To shack up or not to shack up?”
You might figure shacking up kills two birds with one stone:
1. It’s a brilliant way of proving you are serious about making a commitment without having to fork out a Donald Trump-sized fortune for a diamond ring.
2. You can literally save bundles sharing the rent, food and utilities. Plus you will have sex on tap and a personal chef.
Of course you know you’re going to have to be a bit more considerate and share your prized possessions, but are you really ready for the realities of shacking up with your girlfriend? We present you with the seven realities of shacking up with your girlfriend to help you make this decision, after the jump…
Fantasy No. 1
You’ll combine your possessions and there’ll be an extra TV set for the garage. Sweet!
Reality check: Your scantily clad, bikini babe posters will be banished to the garage and replaced with cute framed photos of babies sitting in watering cans. Your impressive library of porn will find its way to the rubbish, and your favorite brown vinyl recliner will be retired from its prime position in front of the TV because it’s not color-coordinated with the couch.
Fantasy No. 2
You’ll still get to see your mates every night and when you get home drunk, the missus will already be there waiting at the door to smother you in hugs and kisses.
Reality check: Even the most understanding girlfriend will disapprove if you are out every night of the week drinking. One of the realities of shacking up is that you can expect booze nights with the boys or Guitar Hero night at your place to be cut back to one night a week. Stay all out ‘til all hours and come home drunk as a skunk and the only thing you’ll be smothered with is a pillow.
Fantasy No. 3
The house will be spotless, dinner will be on the table, socks will be washed, darned, folded, and put away in matching pairs, and breakfast will be served in bed.
Reality check: You will be expected to do your share of the chores and pick up after yourself — this is just one of the realities of shacking up. If you wish the above to come true, we suggest you move back home with your mother or hire a live-in maid.
Fantasy No. 4
Living together means paying less rent, so more money is left for you to spend on beer and motorbike parts.
Reality check: One of the realities of shacking up is that you’ll have to split all the bills, including forking out money for stuff like household cleaning products and other items you deem unnecessary, like crocheted doilies for the coffee table and bigger ticket items like vacuum cleaners.
Fantasy No. 5
Sex in the living room, in the kitchen, on the table, in the shower, on the front lawn…
Reality check: Your girlfriend’s not going to feel like getting jiggy with it 24/7, when and wherever you demand, nor will she appreciate being tapped on the shoulder during the middle of the night and told to “roll over, it’s time.” Have a packet of aspirin on standby for the nights she cranks out the “I’ve got a headache” excuse.
Fantasy No. 6
Having a girlfriend who is a total hottie and wears knee-high boots and nothing else while doing the house work.
Reality check: Not everyone bounces out of bed looking like they’ve just stepped out of a salon and washes windows wearing a miniskirt. Chances are, when she’s at home, your girl wants to relax in sweatpants, wearing one of your old T-shirts and the first two socks she pulls out of the drawer.
Fantasy No. 7
If it doesn’t work out, one of you can just move — it’s not like you’re married.
Reality check: If you live together for two years or more (laws may differ depending on where you live) and you decide to separate, your possessions will be divided as if you were in a marriage.