A Summer Fling: Will It Last Or Fade Along With Your Tan?
While everyone on “Gossip Girl” is complaining of the intense heat, mid-blackout, nary a hair out of place, the rest of us know that though humidity is sticking it out, summer has come to an end. (Unless you are very, very wealthy and you can find summer any time of year.)
As Wall Street falters and the Presidential candidates politic their way into November, what is to become of your summer fling? Will you vote for him in the fall? Or will you change parties and send him packing? Sure you spent many a wine-filled eve, smelling of suntan lotion and getting sand in your pants — but is your romance seasonal? Or can it sustain Thanksgiving with your family (and the cold)?
Your Love Will Last If…
1. You And Your Fling Share More Than A Summer Vacation Spot: Pheromones must be directly correlated to the temperature. Once it gets hot, all you want to do is jump in the sack with someone. And the summer is full of distractions — barbecues, pools, beaches, free summer concerts and less than the usual amount of clothing. But is your fling one of convenience? Were you stuck together in the sweltering heat of the city? Do you and your fling share more than a love of sex on the beach? Or in the cabana? If the answer is yes, you’ll be on cooler, but stable ground come fall.
2. You Have Room In Your Life For Love: Relationships take time and work — as much as we’d like to think they are effortless, they aren’t. (Not to be all, Grinchy about it.) Summer months mean less work, and less administrative life stuff, but once the leaves change color, so, very often, does your schedule. Are you in a place in your life to make room for romance? If the answer is yes, your summer romance will absolutely survive.
3. You Love Him. Like Really Really Love Him: Perhaps it sounds simple or naive, but I still believe that love really does conquer all. Sometimes a summer fling can lead to year-round love. It is often the perfect time for meeting someone new, or perhaps re-discovering someone from the past. Regardless, if you feel strongly for your summer boyfriend, give it a shot. We’ve got to believe in something.
Your Fling Will Fade Along With Your Tan If…
1. No One Else Was Around: Summer is a time for vacation, and while many might be lucky enough to get out of town, if you weren’t, you found yourself looking for a distraction. There was a summer during college when I opted to spend a month in New Haven, CT. I was alone with my thoughts and a Computer Science Major. As the days crept by, his interest in the Internet grew more and more attractive. But once the rest of the student body filled the dorm rooms in September his body wasn’t lookin’ so hot anymore.
2. It Was A Summer Of Firsts: I get most of my love advice from “Gossip Girl” (duh) and to quote Blair Waldorf, “Lifeguards are like Kleenex — use once and then throw away!” Sometimes a summer can be a great opportunity to explore a road you’ve never traveled. Perhaps you’ve fulfilled your lifeguard fantasy. Maybe you met a Frenchman on the Riviera. Heck, maybe you’ve never had a summer fling. Sometimes the beauty of a summer fling is exactly that — its flingy-ness. Something transient doesn’t mean something bad. In fact, it’s pretty damn sexy. And the memory lasts forever (or at least till next summer).
3. Absence Doesn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder: Often summer finds us leaving the mundane routine of home in search of exotic locales. But home is where life is, and if he summers on the Cape but resides in L.A. while you call Austin, Texas home, my advice is to let the romance fade. Keeping in touch can be a good thing, but don’t expect a relationship with someone on the opposite coast to flourish. Sometimes the greatest thing about summer romance is it’s fantasy — and sustaining that over the phone, email and Skype, well… might be a far-fetched fantasy in itself.