Digital Time Capsule With Superstar Sperm Is Being Sent To Space

Space, the final frontier, is getting a new voyager and some sperm that’s outta this world! Richard Garriott, the video game visionary behind Tabula Rasa, is going to be the sixth private citizen to be sent to outer space. How’d he get so lucky? Well, he’s started a program to collect, create, and carry digital DNA and snippets of human history as a time capsule to be stored at the International Space Station. The paranoid gamer is worried androids, the apocalypse, and natural disasters could make us all extinct. His fear has inspired him to create the project, called “Operation Immortality,” to ensure a future for humanity. So who’s genetic code is he cracking? So far, brilliant comedian and well-known narcissist, Stephen Colbert, has agreed to donate, but even the average Jane can offer up her stuff too! All you have to do is play the free trial of Tabula Rasa and your name could get selected at random to become a sample. But if DNA seems a bit too personal, you can simply send a message to the Universe by typing a note about the 21st Century here. Mr. Garriott will be collecting information until October when his shuttle launches. So, with a month to go, we’d like to recommend a few good peeps we think the future could use…

1. Madonna: She’s as sexy and she is smart. And at 50, she’s still a trends-etting artist.
2. Johnny Depp: Sure, he’s the hottest man alive, but he’s also a great actor who does a lot of humanitarian work.
3. Anthony Bourdain: This adventurous explorer/chef can really cook and in the future, people will be hungry for the humor and helpings he can dish out.
4. Oprah: Because she’s Oprah. Nuff said.
5. David Attenborough: He’s a walking encyclopedia who makes nature seem ordered and infinitely fascinating. If only he narrated all our lives.
6. Dolly Parton: She’s the perfect sweet singin’ Southern Belle and the future definitely needs a Dollywood theme park.
7. Nelson Mandela: The President of South Africa has spent his life standing up for his people.
8. Mick Jagger His swagger and songs will inspire the world repopulate quickly.
9. Ru Paul: She can work it in high heels.
10. Gabriel Aubry: This handsome model was good enough to be Halle Berry’s baby daddy.