Romance On TV: Let The “Gossip Girl” Re-Coupling Begin!

Gossip Girl came back into our lives last night, and since the show is all about the couplings of characters, whether in friendship, love, or sex, here’s a rundown of what the duos were up to in last night’s season premiere. SIDENOTE: Did anyone else have a major problem with the all-too-obvious VitaminWater sponsorship? The brand name was uttered at least three times.

Serena and Dan
They broke up in last season’s finale. Serena spends the summer moping by herself in the Hamptons, and even a cute lifeguard couldn’t raise her spirits. Dan becomes a more literary Chuck and hooks up with any slightly attractive female he encounters while interning for his favorite author (he used the internship more to pick up intelligent girls, than to work on his writing). When Dan finally realizes he’s been a jerk and really misses Serena, he goes to the Hamptons to try to get her back. Dan arrives at the party right when Serena is kissing Nate, but after Dan’s two flings throw VitaminWater on him, the two lovebirds make up and all is right in the world. Blair and Chuck
Chuck invited Blair to spend the summer in Italy with him last season but didn’t show up at the heliport. Blair makes friends with one of Bart Bass’ employees on the chopper, then spends the summer at her dad’s place in France, moping. Do we see a trend here? Meanwhile, Chuck acts like himself with a harem of topless ladies surrounding him at the beach. When Blair arrives home, he goes to meet her at the Jitney bearing flowers, but she has a man in tow. It becomes apparent to everyone that Blair is using this guy (and that he’s not who he says he is), but when Chuck won’t tell Blair he loves her and the guy starts speaking in a British accent and says he’s a lord, Blair changes her tune about him. More on this mystery man will be revealed next week.

Nate and Catherine, the married older women
Nate somehow got involved with a woman named Catherine who is married and has no intention of leaving her husband for Nate, the two just have really great sex and get turned on by each other not being completely available.

Jenny and Eric
Jenny said some mean things about Eric last season, but we can’t remember what they were. She finally calls him to apologize because she really wants to go the the VitaminWater party wearing the dress she designed for her boss to wear. Eric and Jenny make up, and he introduces her to Tinsley Mortimer (who is terrible at acting, even when she’s playing herself). BTW, the dress Jenny designed looks like something Forever 21 would have carried in the ’90s.

Lily and Rufus
No parents were present in this episode, only grandma, who let Dan wear her dead husband’s suit so that he could accompany her to the white party and win back Serena.