Bartering For Sex: The Oldest Trade In The History Of The Universe

CNN has a story up today about people who trade sex for gifts or favors, from a woman who had sex with a guy for two weeks in exchange for a jungle tour in Brazil, to husbands who vow to be handy around the house in exchange for morning nookie. You know what I say to this story? Duh, obviously, and don’t we all? The essence of dating is exchanging sex for dinners, date activities, and expensive wine. Being in a relationship is all about trading a blow job despite “I’m not in the mood honey” because honey cooked an amazing dinner. The trade may not be spoken or out in the open, but it’s there, in your head. And who cares? Dating and relationships are about compromise and reaching a point that is mutually beneficial. The girl in the story may have slept with a guy she didn’t find that attractive because he was being nice enough to give her a jungle tour and so what? She appreciated the gesture, they had fun and for all the guy knows, she was in the sack with him because she was hot for him. I had a friend who went out on a date with a guy who took her to Blimpies (a poor man’s Subway) for dinner. There was no way he was getting anything from her afterwards — no kiss and certainly no humpage. Had he taken her to a fancy pants French place with linens and real silverware? He probably would have gotten to first base, at least, for dessert. It’s called wooing and both sides are aware of what’s being traded. Now having sex with someone who you really would rather not be humping and you’re only doing out of desperation — like you HAVE to have that Louis Vuitton bag — well, that’s just gross. Or really insanely shallow.

On the home front, what’s wrong with sex being a bit of a reward? If I came home and the man friend (hint, hint) had cleaned the house from top to bottom, homeboy would be getting some lovin’ whether I had a migraine or not. With that in mind, here are some sex for trade deals I would totally make:
1. Scrubbed and sparkling bathroom
2. Beef carpaccio
3. 30 minute back rub