Sex On TV: Open Letter To “Weeds”‘ Nancy Botwin

Dear Nancy,
Poor you, you can’t keep those two naughty boys of yours under control! We’ve got Silas seducing that cougar on the counter-top at her cheese shop and Shane hitting that boy in the face with a lunch tray. Of course I’d have to say that Shane assaulting someone might be one of his less disturbing activities on this season of Weeds. After all, we did catch him whacking off to old naked pictures of you bringing that whole Oedipus thing to mind. And this week, while you were off with your sexy drug king pin/Mayor of Tijuana boyfriend, he was having a THREESOME. Yes, a threesome, with two wannabe goth chicks from his school. They were so inexperienced that they were looking up positions on the computer. You actually expected Silas to babysit him and keep a keen eye out for foul play? Tsk-tsk.

I know you tried to have a talk with both of them about their behavior before, but two teenage boys are going to need a little more structure than a lecture once in a blue moon from you or Uncle Andy. Silas may be too far gone at this point, but you can still get a hold of Shane. Bottom line is, if he has to look up how to have sex on the internet, he’s not ready and he’s too young. Come on Nanc, you know better, even in your short skirted, over caffeinated little world. Your boy needs discipline.

The Frisky