Click & Tell: Your Breakup Options
Sure, more than 20 million people visit an online dating site every month, but how many do you actually want to meet? And then after you do come face to face with the few you deem worthy, how many of those do you want to keep seeing? If your experience is anything like mine, you know that the second number is small — heck, it might even be zero. So, after you’ve gone out with someone you’d rather not have to feign interest in, you have a couple choices.
- Ignore Him
As immature and passive as it is, ignoring a guy is the easiest way to tell him that you don’t want to see him again. Haven’t you given your number to someone and never heard from him after? You definitely got the point, and he didn’t even have to say a word. In fact, this is the only method guys have used to reject me in the last year. Now, there comes a point when you can no longer use ignoring a person as the way to break the news that you don’t want to see them again, basically because you’ve gone out several times, had the “define the relationship” talk, or shared a bed on more than one occasion. After you hit this point, you have to verbalize your reasoning.
- Let Him Down Nicely
If you’re too big a person to give someone the brush-off, write him an email or text him saying you enjoyed meeting him but don’t think things are going to pan out romantically. This can have two effects: It can make him feel really crappy about himself but make you feel better, or it can pave the way for a beautiful friendship.Some people just aren’t meant to be together, but they make wonderful friends; however, it takes a special guy to be interested in only friendship, and has yet to happen to me, in large part because I am a wimp and stick to breakup option number one.
- Let Him Down Not-So-Nicely
Some guys just don’t get it. Take, for instance, a gentleman we’ll call Greg. Greg and I went on a handful of dates and had a decent time together. Our final dinner was disastrous, with him trying to psychoanalyze my behavior and referencing Freud. I thought it was pretty clear to both of us it just wasn’t going to happen, but then a week later I got a text from him saying, “Am I going to see you again?” My response: “Probably not.” He would have thought I was playing hard-to-get if I had said anything more gentle – believe me.
- Keep Seeing Him
If you’re that nice a person and just can’t bear to hurt anyone’s feelings, then you can always finish what you started and ride out a relationship until he dumps you. I don’t recommend this, though, as your personal happiness should be more important than anyone’s feelings. He’ll recover from your let-down after a few days or a week, but you can never get back months of faking interest.