Brooke Hogan, I’ve Got Some Advice For You

Yesterday, Brooke Hogan continued her quest for attention by posting phony mugshots on her MySpace page. Not only is this kind of pathetic, but it’s also a little insensitive to her brother Nick, who is serving time in jail for a 2007 car crash that severely injured his friend. So I realized that it’s time to have a little chat with Brooke, since it seems her parents’ divorce has left her to guide her own career.

  • First and for most, if you want to keep your name out there, then hire a PR agent like everyone else. Pretending to get arrested for fighting is just as lame as engaging in a bar fight. Wouldn’t you rather get attention for actual achievements?
  • Second, forget everything you learned from your mom about make-up. This look really only works for Palm Beach cougars on the prowl.
  • And speaking of your mom, stop discussing that you’re disappointed in her for dating a younger man. Yes, I know the guy is younger than you are, but some day you may want a relationship with her again.
  • Fourth, hire a reputable stylist. There is no excuse for this. And on this note also, plastic shoes shouldn’t be your go-to footwear unless you’re a stripper.